American Men Survey:
Along with photographs, the portfolio will include facts or quotes from each participant about what it is like to be twenty-five in America today.
We ask that you to fill out the survey below. Please answer the questions as thoroughly as possible; the more you write, the better.
Name: Cody James Bennett
Cody: From a football player that was in the NFL when my mother was pregnant with me. I believe that there may also be a link to my mother’s roots in the Midwest; my brother’s name is Shane.
James: From my grandfather on my Dad’s side.
Bennett: My father’s surname.
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Born and raised here, I love the outdoors. Juneau has a great mix of geography – ocean, flatlands, swamp, muskeg, & mountains – matched by an equally great collection of things to do: hiking, biking, climbing, Ultimate (Frisbee) and other sports. During the summer, there is no better place to be. During the winter, you can still do many of the same things, and you get to add wintersports to the listings. Many people in the area are regulars at the local ski area, Eaglecrest. If the weather isn’t cooperating, you’re thinking about summer.
Birthday:
December 9, 1980
Occupation:
I own and operate an Internet business specializing in building turnkey e-commerce franchise models for at-home companies. Additionally, I am a technology consultant for the IT Services department at the University of Alaska Southeast (UAS). And finally, I do work for the Student Accounts/Bursar’s office to help with the overload they have since recent staff losses.
Approximate Income (optional):
$50,000
How much money have you spent in the past 24-hours? On what?
Today only? What a restriction! I’d rather include the whole week. I could mention the $127 for fixing my digital camera, or the $150 on an iPod Nano for a friend’s birthday, or the $600 on rent. But since it’s just today, I’ll hold off. 😉
I generally don’t do any spending on Sundays. I prefer to allow people the opportunity to take the day off for church or family by not creating a demand for staffing on the one day a week. Today though, unusually, I’ve spent $260 shopping online (on my ecommerce site) for clothing – primarily shorts and pants. I’m getting to a point that my several year old wardrobe is starting to wear at the seams, literally. And though I see that the worn look is in, I can’t keep a straight face when the most blatant hole is not in the knee, if you catch my drift.
What did you do today?
Wow, how do you do this justice? On any given day, I seek to do so many things, but only get a limited amount completed. Here’s the breakdown of my current day:
9:00 AM: Wake up. Realize that it’s Daylight Savings: suddenly I’ve lost an hour of my day.
10:10 AM: Ten minutes after waking up, I stumbled downstairs to cook breakfast. Today I had a lovely vegetable medley; kind of an elaborate home-fries type creation. I don’t like to follow recipes, so I often don’t have a name for my delicacies.
10:50 AM: Eat food & check in on the sites I follow, primarily UAS Online (a coursework/portfolio/forum/weblog environment used by the University of Alaska Southeast) and of course MySpace.
11:15 AM: A close female friend stopped by to ask a couple of questions regarding supporting other people and the drama they bring. They were questions like “How do I help someone grow in an area in their life that I myself am weak in?” and “How do you continue to encourage someone?”
12:45 PM: Grab my stuff to head to work. Hop in my car, call Heather to ask if she needed a ride to campus.
12:55 PM: A quick turnaround at Heather’s house to head to campus for work. At 1:00.
1:05 PM: Chat with Heather for a while regarding a possible relationship. At this point, each of us like the idea of dating, however we both admit that there are things standing in the way of a healthy relationship (there are ex’s and life learning that we each have identified). Since I’m at work, I was working too, really.
2:10 PM: Heather took off, now I’m working, having a good time. Today I was able to pound through a bunch of items to prepare us for the start of the week tomorrow. Not glamorous, but good.
4:45 PM: Check in with Heather to see if she’s done with homework, or if she still has more to do.
4:55 PM: Head back to work and finish things up.
5:25 PM: Stopped by Student Accounts to pick up my workspace as it’s shared by the other people in the office (I’m an after hours guy in that area).
5:45 PM: I’m working on this American Man thing, trying to be frank and without embellishment or minimizing what’s happened. It’s actually a tough assignment.
6:35 PM: Head to housing to pick up housing students who will be playing Ultimate tonight
7:00 PM: For the first time this year, we’ll be back outdoors to play ultimate on the only turf field in Juneau. Sundays from 7-9 is all we get, so we’ve gotta make it good.
9:00 PM: Ultimate is over. Take people home.
9:45 PM: Roll in the door. Take a shower and get into some warm clothes.
10:00 PM: Check weekly online orders for my company and chat with my uncle on MSN. He’s going to help me by donating money to the local Big Brothers Big Sisters (I’m raising money for an annual fundraiser).
11:00 PM: Start a load of laundry since the basket has been full most of the week. Check in on MySpace.
11:21 PM: Add fabric softener to my laundry during the rinse cycle (there’s something so appealing about soft socks!)
11:30 PM: Resume my efforts to finalize this survey; I’ve got to turn it in tomorrow!
12:45 AM: I’m done enough. Now on to my reading before calling it a night.
1:30AM: Reading was good. I’m reading the New Testament, The 360o Leader by John Maxwell and Harry Potter III. Sleep time now. I’ll be up soon enough at 6:30.
How do you spend your weekends?
Weekends? I generally find myself working 7 days a week, though my “weekends” are days that I don’t work as much, and might even sleep in. It’s rare to find a weekend that I’m not playing Ultimate, or working, so that’s a primary element. I also do any studying for my class (Project Management) then. I will attempt to find time for friends, but I don’t often get as much time as we’d all like. Every once in a while I’ll get into cleaning and take care of the recycling that collects in the garage. Church is a nice addition to the week, but lately I’ve been inconsistent with attendance.
How do you think your life at twenty-five differs from your father’s when he was twenty-five?
I had to ask my Mom about this one because my Father died when I was 8. From the sounds of things, life was similar. We both made decent money, we both had troubles being committed to a single relationship, we both were analytically minded (for him mechanics, for me computers). In regards to societal differences, I’m not sure. When he was 25, it would have been near ’75. For me, the things I’m aware of are the proposed coming economic storm in America. I’m excited about the possibilities of the future specifically regarding my private franchise.
Do you feel like you’ve entered “manhood”?
What a weird question. Yes, I feel that I’ve entered Manhood, though in many ways, I feel inadequate and ill prepared to navigate life.
I was talking with a friend about how one would answer this question. We joked about the “average” guy… I have the sense that most “manly” guys would be keen on saying things like “Oh yeah, I definitely have. At 16. Her name was Bessie.” I’m not of that variety.
Most of the truly masculine men I know are also the first to admit their own mistakes and shortcomings. Perhaps that’s why I’m openly admitting that I have a long way to go before I’m grounded and stable in my manhood.
I can’t say that I recall a moment or time period in life that helped me make the rite of passage into Manhood. I can only say that with where I am now, and who I am, I’m pleased with where I’ve come to, and excited about the future.
Are you content with your current life? What would you like to change or make better?
Yes I am content, but at the same time, I like to maintain a hint of anxiety to help keep the pressure on to continue to grow. Life is good for me. I own everything I have and I have no outstanding debt. I make decent money which enables me to give to others. My savings account grows by several thousand dollars each year, and I’m surrounded by people who care for me, and appreciate me.
In changing my life, I look forward to being stronger in my resolve and execution of the dreams and goals that I have for myself. Recently, I was asked to describe myself for a new class I’m taking. A portion of what I wrote follows:
Future goals include many things, some tangible, others more abstract. I look forward to being an awesome husband, father, friend and coach. I enjoy being an unknown philanthropist, anonymously financing projects, endowments and other things like a super-hero of sorts. I don’t like the lime-light unless it serves the greater good (I don’t really like extra attention). I like the idea of a being a present day Bruce Wayne – a regular fellow by day, and fighting the evil of the world by night.
I am passionate about empowering kids to help them realize their own potential, and greatly desire to make a difference rather than a living.
What would I like to change or make better? I would wave my magic wand to help myself actualize my potential. With that alone, I could change the world for the better.
What’s the best thing about being twenty-five?
Well, at 25, I have the whole world ahead of me. I can set out in any direction and accomplish some of the burning passions that I’ve had for most, if not all of my life.
As mentioned in the things to change aspect, I want to make a difference and live a life of significance. From this stage in the game, I have all of the opportunity I can handle in regards to accomplishing that.
In trying to look at just the age of 25, I don’t see anything markedly special. Sure I can have cheaper car insurance, and rent cars at more companies, but beyond that, I see myself as a year older with more experience, perspective and patience than 24.
What scares you most about being twenty-five?
I remember when I was in high school wanting to be married sometime after 19. Well, when I made it to 19, I realized that I had a lot to learn before I was willing to get into a relationship for the rest of my life. I’m 25 now, and still in that quest for learning. Just tonight I was talking with a potential girlfriend hashing out the reality of the challenge of dating. (We’d have to take into consideration ex’s, current commitments, personal goals and significant differences between one another. No decisions have been made yet…) So, naturally, the future has a lot yet to unfold. I’m looking forward to being an awesome husband and father, while playing significant roles in my community. There is so much to accomplish and so little time!
One other thing that I can always look to for a good scare is the comfort in my own life. Earlier in the survey I mentioned that I like to keep a bit of unrest in mind to keep me on edge. With my current situation, most of my needs are met. That in and of itself is scary to me. I don’t want to be the guy who says, “I’ve got mine” and then just leave it at that. There are families who are disintegrating from the inside out because there isn’t anyone to encourage the men to grow and change and become caring, compassionate men of strength. There’s too much hype and expectation of men to become manly and strong and macho (just look at commercials). We’re lacking solicitation of men who will stand in the gap – men interested in bettering the world and becoming king makers rather than kings of their own domain.
What do you think it means to be an American man?
America was founded by God fearing men fighting for freedom. We have digressed as a nation allowing everything to be accepted, expecting nicey-nice behavior from all sides. 9-11 was a shock, and many people think that it shouldn’t have happened. I’m proud of the Americans who, in the midst of criticism and fear, did what was right.
I love the movie The Patriot. Mel Gibson exhibits someone who I feel is at his core, an American Man. He loves his family, and loves his country. He’s not interested in fighting for fighting’s sake. However, when the fight is brough to his door, he cannot stand by to watch it occur. He must act. His passion for family and freedoms is a lesson to us all.
I appreciate Stu Weber’s approach to Manhood. He writes in Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart: Bringing Strength into Balance:
What kind of man has shoulders broad enough to build upon? A four-pillared man:
A man of vision and character . . . a King.
A man of strength and power . . . a Warrior.
A man of faith and wisdom . . . a Mentor.
A man of heart and love . . . a Friend.(6)
To sum up the American man: I’d say he’s one to stand in the gap.