Lord, please help me to be a stronger man. A better man. A man capable of carrying out your wishes for my life with your help. I know that I can do all thing through Christ. Please help me move that intellectual comprehension into the depths of my heart. Please help me to grow my existing dream. Help me to grow the dreams of others. Help me to be more and be more committed to my future and all the possibilities therein. Lord, I love you and I love that you live for me. Thank you for your support, and protection and providence and help me connect my heart more deeply with your purpose so that I may continue to further your wishes for the future of all the people I come in touch with. Help me dig in deep and to grow myself in such a meaningful way that I can be all that you wish for me. Bless me indeed so that I may be a blessing to others.
I am a man of action, a man of confidence and a man of big dreams and big purposes.
I’ve always been impressed at what technology can do. Anything that the mind can dream of seems to come to the fingertips with computers and other tools. Lately I’ve been in a “Real Life Program” with Microsoft – they sent me a laptop with Office 2010, and I just use it. When I first received the computer, I found that there was a feature to send content directly to a blog online. This is actually a test post for the OneNote to the blog to see if it works like a champ.
From, “Financial Planning,” a word document on a old 2005 computer.
“Traveling would include exotic locations. I expect both on a shoestring budget, as well as 5-star, first class experiences. I will have the financial resources to bring others on my trips, to have friends to share the experience, and to not be concerned about the
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“I want to travel, invest in worthwhile community projects and support my family where appropriate.”
From “2005 in review,” another word document on that old 2005 computer.
“I want to be the active owner of a facility that allows for kids to reveal things about themselves that were previously unknown. Their fears of the temporal can be brought to the surface and overcome. I’ll be the guy that stops by once a week to invest in the group that needs it most: the roughest kids, the staunchly unresponsive, and the downright rude. We work to help kids to see the value inherently present.”
Jounal entry
December 30, 2002
So what do I want to say. It’s 7:27 pm on a Monday night. I have been wrestling with what to do with my life. I guess I can just talk about my options and the pros and cons for each. Here’s the list of options that I’ve been considering (note that most of them are concerning girls… Go figure.)
1. Officially and unequivocally date Helen.
2. Officially and unequivocally date Shelley.
3. Officially and unequivocally date no one.
I think this will be a good opportunity to journal again.
I find that so many good thoughts come out on the screen when I do this, it allows me to see what I am thinking and to explore that thought process.
So here I am. Making a decision about how I will handle two girls. One that I have built a great relationship with, and another that there is a large unknown, but can choose to love if that is the route that I take.
FED 2002
What a function. I am working on Journaling. I just spoke with Kurt Goad. Asked about the process of sharing the love within to others. What there is that I can do to be able to spead that life to others. He answers many things, but mostly it is a great in great out theme. He suggested prayer, books, tapes, and journaling. Here is another journal entry.
Journal Entry – February 13, 2002
So yet another journal entry. I don’t really know what I have in mind to talk about (or I mean type about) but I still feel like typing. I just was working on the beginning of a memo to Joe about some training recommendations for Sandlin and Holly. Joe has opened up the opportunity for me to move into more of an ‘Operations Manager’ for the helpdesk. It provides more responsibility and more flexibility, so I am not sure how it will turn out. I suppose the way I look at it for the moment is that I can try it and if for some reason it doesn’t work for me, I can always move back to the generic Helpdesk dude.
Helen is feeling as though she is being taken for Granted. That would lead me to believe that she needs a different type of attention from me, but how to change? To what? Less Physical… What does she enjoy? Respect, Perhaps gifts? Service (backrubs)
Okay [taken for granted] does that support that she notices my liking of other people? (Namely Cori)
I just felt like typing. I don’t really know what I wanted to type, nor what I would be typing, but I am typing anyhow.
Things I should type about: girls, business, spiritual, emotional, work (grayline and UAS), play, friends, and then anything else that I can think of.
I pray to you with a throbbing heart, as I know that I have done wrong in your eyes. I recognize the severity of my choices. They are egregious errors that sour my life and lessen the opportunities to receive special blessings that you have for me.
I thank you Father for you love, compassion and understanding. For without it I would be lost and all would be hopeless as our nemesis would eventually win without opposition. However, reality dictates that Satan cannot and will not win. I am overjoyed by this truth. Father, I am thrilled that together, with your support and love to compensate for my inherent shortcomings, we will win.