It’s Sunday, March 28th.
Big week. Last Tuesday I had the idea to look for distance photography courses, and came across Hallmark.edu which is an intensive 10-month program suited to provide folks with the skills necessary for a career in photography. My attention has been captured, and I have a new dream with all manners of energy pouring forward for it.
After pondering, talking and consulting, I’ve decided to apply. Now, this of course means that after applying comes acceptance, and after acceptance comes payment, and after payment means attendance. If you know me at all, you’ll know that I have made a concerted effort since my childhood to remain solvent. While I’ve done a lot of silly things and made a lot of rediculous mistakes, I’ve done OK for myself. But, even still, the tuition/fee of Hallmark rings at just shy of $60,000. That said, Heather and I will be leaving our employment income and pursuing school for 10 months, and our goal is to remain debt free.
So, now is when the rubber hits the road. I have around 3 months to execute something astounding; I will create a passive income to the tune of $1500-2500/month so that we can pursue the opportunity. I think it’s possible that I could liquify the assets that we have as well as receiving scholarships & grants in order to pay for tuition/fees. However, as we’ll be in a new place with no certain source of income, we will produce a business in the next three months that will finance our lifestyle.
It will be an amazing learning curve. We live in the USA, the greatest country in the world with the most amazing resources available to us. It will require radically altering our pursuits, but with the newfound motivation, my past experience, and the help of friends and mentors, it is absolutely achievable.
We’re still in the scoping stage to figure out how much money will be required to make the dream a reality. If everything goes to plan, orientation starts on September 8th with our departure on approximately August 25th.
January 15th, 2010. 5:49am.
I’ve been getting up early and enjoying some quiet time in early in the mornings. I generally aim to be in bed near 10pm (often 11 or midnight), and again up and moving as early as 5. I take my time, have an XS or some coffee, listen to CommuniKate, perhaps a CD, play on the computer, or even do some journaling. For some reason, there’s something mighty cathardic about being up before more of the world gets moving. At the moment all I can hear is the clock ticking away on the wall, and the quiet whisper of the cooling fan on my laptop. I bet if I could quiet my mind enough, I’d hear the refridgerator as well as the networked readynas spinning away.
Lately I’ve started another journey of sorts; Dream Nights were spectacular, and most exciting, I’ve picked up a few nuggets to translate to action. This has been my first week of 4 days off (and subsequently 3 days on) of building the business. It’s been a good experience of putting focused thought effort into coordinating and constructing my business, but there is still a long way to go. It’s given me some reflection time to notice what things I’m doing well, and not-so-well towards the end goals of financial and emotional independence.
I noticed that my self-talk was a bit out of line with the results I’m interested in. I carried self-defeating internal conversations on regarding the responses I might receive when talking with folks out in the world, or over the phone. I’m just at the beginning of that journey, but these realizations have been potent towards action and comfort in walking the quiet track of building myself and others in spite of a busy, and otherwise distracted world.
I’m starting to see the economy of Juneau take a turn. In my own recollection (and with the thanks of a facebook solicitation) I was able to count 44+ places that have gone out of business over the past couple decades – and I’m sure there are more to come. Morris Publishing just filed Chapter 11, and they’re the parent to the Juneau Empire and long-standing Capital City Weekly. Eeeks indeed.
Anyhow, onto my CD, and maybe a little World of Warcraft!
It’s now 2010. In fact, January 3rd. Tomorrow I head back to the daily grind of working at UAS. I found myself nearly in tears at the futility of it, and the desire to be free of the all-to-frequent torture called “employment”.
That aside for the moment, I thought I’d do some quick journaling of the break and of the last year in keeping with the reflection process that I like to maintain.
First of all, the break. We’ve had 10 days off, weekends included from UAS. It’s been nice to have, and fun to stay up until all hours of the day, get an activity or two in away from the house, and then to spend time with Heather nearly the entire time. We had a chance to watch quite a few movies – mostly rentals (Avatar & Sherlock Holmes in the theater, at $10.50/ticket, interestingly.)
New years was good. We went out to a long dinner at the canton house and proceeded through some of the Glenn Bland Success Methods for planning and scoping the future. Heather is excited about any manner of planning, and I go into it with a more stoic mindset, but nonetheless, it was a good experience to talk about what we see for ourselves and our future. I took a few notes, of course, but don’t have my notebook nearby, so I can’t regale you with them now. After dinner, we came back to the house for a bit, and then ended up heading out to West Glacier trail with the Wildes crew. Generally, we spend new years doing some sledding at the Mendenhall Visitor Center area, but this year, there wasn’t any snow for us. Instead, it was remarkably cold, crisp, and had an incredibly bright moon that was casting shadows from anything it could get it’s reflected light around. I took a few pictures from the ice, and then a couple of group shots, and we called it a night.
Christmas was mostly good. I really enjoyed the process of pouring out fun and useful things to Heather. I might have gone a bit over the top in trying to get everything from her list, but of all the ways to have error in the process, that’s a good one. She was very thoughtful to me as well with things like a bike repair stand, an apple wireless access point, books, etc. She was on the receiving end for several books, gloves, socks, a chair (if it ever comes) movies, cooking items, and probably more. We even went above and beyond in designing and sending out a 2010 calendar with my photos for all of our friends and family. An order of 25 goes a long way. I think we only have 3-4 more.
2009 has treated me well. It feels like largely it’s been a blur. I can recall that in April, we got engaged (insert blur effect here) and then in June, married. That whole process was incredible, and a great example of what’s possible to two people when the dream is the driving motivator. We had tons of friends and family, and were able to have an incredible experience of love and connection with each other and our friends.
So, June happened, it was good. Blur some more. In September, Heather and I departed for our first-of-many honeymoon. Juneau to Seattle to San Francisco to (blur more) Memphis. It was absolutely wonderful to spend quality time with Heather and also with the Wildes on the road across the nation. We had some memories made, and some fun had, all with the joy of a 30+ foot RV. I’m still working on the photo album afterwards.
After the honeymoon, things seemed to have blurred by. We have been going to church at the Juneau Christian Center, and further had fun with the McGoey’s in a small group setting aimed towards improving our marriages. Interestingly, we are sparse to connect; I’m not sure if it’s based on mis-matched schedules, or if it’s another mechanism, but for the 3-4 times we’ve met, we’ve been talking about it for most of the year.
A little bit of benchmarking:
Technology in the house:
I’m not really sure what else I might want to note, but at just near 1000 words for this post, I think I’m doing pretty good for a recap. Let’s hope and pray and act as though 2010 will be the best year yet.
-cb
American Men Survey:
Along with photographs, the portfolio will include facts or quotes from each participant about what it is like to be twenty-five in America today.
We ask that you to fill out the survey below. Please answer the questions as thoroughly as possible; the more you write, the better.
Name: Cody James Bennett
Cody: From a football player that was in the NFL when my mother was pregnant with me. I believe that there may also be a link to my mother’s roots in the Midwest; my brother’s name is Shane.
James: From my grandfather on my Dad’s side.
Bennett: My father’s surname.
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Born and raised here, I love the outdoors. Juneau has a great mix of geography – ocean, flatlands, swamp, muskeg, & mountains – matched by an equally great collection of things to do: hiking, biking, climbing, Ultimate (Frisbee) and other sports. During the summer, there is no better place to be. During the winter, you can still do many of the same things, and you get to add wintersports to the listings. Many people in the area are regulars at the local ski area, Eaglecrest. If the weather isn’t cooperating, you’re thinking about summer.
Birthday:
December 9, 1980
Occupation:
I own and operate an Internet business specializing in building turnkey e-commerce franchise models for at-home companies. Additionally, I am a technology consultant for the IT Services department at the University of Alaska Southeast (UAS). And finally, I do work for the Student Accounts/Bursar’s office to help with the overload they have since recent staff losses.
Approximate Income (optional):
$50,000
How much money have you spent in the past 24-hours? On what?
Today only? What a restriction! I’d rather include the whole week. I could mention the $127 for fixing my digital camera, or the $150 on an iPod Nano for a friend’s birthday, or the $600 on rent. But since it’s just today, I’ll hold off. 😉
I generally don’t do any spending on Sundays. I prefer to allow people the opportunity to take the day off for church or family by not creating a demand for staffing on the one day a week. Today though, unusually, I’ve spent $260 shopping online (on my ecommerce site) for clothing – primarily shorts and pants. I’m getting to a point that my several year old wardrobe is starting to wear at the seams, literally. And though I see that the worn look is in, I can’t keep a straight face when the most blatant hole is not in the knee, if you catch my drift.
What did you do today?
Wow, how do you do this justice? On any given day, I seek to do so many things, but only get a limited amount completed. Here’s the breakdown of my current day:
9:00 AM: Wake up. Realize that it’s Daylight Savings: suddenly I’ve lost an hour of my day.
10:10 AM: Ten minutes after waking up, I stumbled downstairs to cook breakfast. Today I had a lovely vegetable medley; kind of an elaborate home-fries type creation. I don’t like to follow recipes, so I often don’t have a name for my delicacies.
10:50 AM: Eat food & check in on the sites I follow, primarily UAS Online (a coursework/portfolio/forum/weblog environment used by the University of Alaska Southeast) and of course MySpace.
11:15 AM: A close female friend stopped by to ask a couple of questions regarding supporting other people and the drama they bring. They were questions like “How do I help someone grow in an area in their life that I myself am weak in?” and “How do you continue to encourage someone?”
12:45 PM: Grab my stuff to head to work. Hop in my car, call Heather to ask if she needed a ride to campus.
12:55 PM: A quick turnaround at Heather’s house to head to campus for work. At 1:00.
1:05 PM: Chat with Heather for a while regarding a possible relationship. At this point, each of us like the idea of dating, however we both admit that there are things standing in the way of a healthy relationship (there are ex’s and life learning that we each have identified). Since I’m at work, I was working too, really.
2:10 PM: Heather took off, now I’m working, having a good time. Today I was able to pound through a bunch of items to prepare us for the start of the week tomorrow. Not glamorous, but good.
4:45 PM: Check in with Heather to see if she’s done with homework, or if she still has more to do.
4:55 PM: Head back to work and finish things up.
5:25 PM: Stopped by Student Accounts to pick up my workspace as it’s shared by the other people in the office (I’m an after hours guy in that area).
5:45 PM: I’m working on this American Man thing, trying to be frank and without embellishment or minimizing what’s happened. It’s actually a tough assignment.
6:35 PM: Head to housing to pick up housing students who will be playing Ultimate tonight
7:00 PM: For the first time this year, we’ll be back outdoors to play ultimate on the only turf field in Juneau. Sundays from 7-9 is all we get, so we’ve gotta make it good.
9:00 PM: Ultimate is over. Take people home.
9:45 PM: Roll in the door. Take a shower and get into some warm clothes.
10:00 PM: Check weekly online orders for my company and chat with my uncle on MSN. He’s going to help me by donating money to the local Big Brothers Big Sisters (I’m raising money for an annual fundraiser).
11:00 PM: Start a load of laundry since the basket has been full most of the week. Check in on MySpace.
11:21 PM: Add fabric softener to my laundry during the rinse cycle (there’s something so appealing about soft socks!)
11:30 PM: Resume my efforts to finalize this survey; I’ve got to turn it in tomorrow!
12:45 AM: I’m done enough. Now on to my reading before calling it a night.
1:30AM: Reading was good. I’m reading the New Testament, The 360o Leader by John Maxwell and Harry Potter III. Sleep time now. I’ll be up soon enough at 6:30.
How do you spend your weekends?
Weekends? I generally find myself working 7 days a week, though my “weekends” are days that I don’t work as much, and might even sleep in. It’s rare to find a weekend that I’m not playing Ultimate, or working, so that’s a primary element. I also do any studying for my class (Project Management) then. I will attempt to find time for friends, but I don’t often get as much time as we’d all like. Every once in a while I’ll get into cleaning and take care of the recycling that collects in the garage. Church is a nice addition to the week, but lately I’ve been inconsistent with attendance.
How do you think your life at twenty-five differs from your father’s when he was twenty-five?
I had to ask my Mom about this one because my Father died when I was 8. From the sounds of things, life was similar. We both made decent money, we both had troubles being committed to a single relationship, we both were analytically minded (for him mechanics, for me computers). In regards to societal differences, I’m not sure. When he was 25, it would have been near ’75. For me, the things I’m aware of are the proposed coming economic storm in America. I’m excited about the possibilities of the future specifically regarding my private franchise.
Do you feel like you’ve entered “manhood”?
What a weird question. Yes, I feel that I’ve entered Manhood, though in many ways, I feel inadequate and ill prepared to navigate life.
I was talking with a friend about how one would answer this question. We joked about the “average” guy… I have the sense that most “manly” guys would be keen on saying things like “Oh yeah, I definitely have. At 16. Her name was Bessie.” I’m not of that variety.
Most of the truly masculine men I know are also the first to admit their own mistakes and shortcomings. Perhaps that’s why I’m openly admitting that I have a long way to go before I’m grounded and stable in my manhood.
I can’t say that I recall a moment or time period in life that helped me make the rite of passage into Manhood. I can only say that with where I am now, and who I am, I’m pleased with where I’ve come to, and excited about the future.
Are you content with your current life? What would you like to change or make better?
Yes I am content, but at the same time, I like to maintain a hint of anxiety to help keep the pressure on to continue to grow. Life is good for me. I own everything I have and I have no outstanding debt. I make decent money which enables me to give to others. My savings account grows by several thousand dollars each year, and I’m surrounded by people who care for me, and appreciate me.
In changing my life, I look forward to being stronger in my resolve and execution of the dreams and goals that I have for myself. Recently, I was asked to describe myself for a new class I’m taking. A portion of what I wrote follows:
Future goals include many things, some tangible, others more abstract. I look forward to being an awesome husband, father, friend and coach. I enjoy being an unknown philanthropist, anonymously financing projects, endowments and other things like a super-hero of sorts. I don’t like the lime-light unless it serves the greater good (I don’t really like extra attention). I like the idea of a being a present day Bruce Wayne – a regular fellow by day, and fighting the evil of the world by night.
I am passionate about empowering kids to help them realize their own potential, and greatly desire to make a difference rather than a living.
What would I like to change or make better? I would wave my magic wand to help myself actualize my potential. With that alone, I could change the world for the better.
What’s the best thing about being twenty-five?
Well, at 25, I have the whole world ahead of me. I can set out in any direction and accomplish some of the burning passions that I’ve had for most, if not all of my life.
As mentioned in the things to change aspect, I want to make a difference and live a life of significance. From this stage in the game, I have all of the opportunity I can handle in regards to accomplishing that.
In trying to look at just the age of 25, I don’t see anything markedly special. Sure I can have cheaper car insurance, and rent cars at more companies, but beyond that, I see myself as a year older with more experience, perspective and patience than 24.
What scares you most about being twenty-five?
I remember when I was in high school wanting to be married sometime after 19. Well, when I made it to 19, I realized that I had a lot to learn before I was willing to get into a relationship for the rest of my life. I’m 25 now, and still in that quest for learning. Just tonight I was talking with a potential girlfriend hashing out the reality of the challenge of dating. (We’d have to take into consideration ex’s, current commitments, personal goals and significant differences between one another. No decisions have been made yet…) So, naturally, the future has a lot yet to unfold. I’m looking forward to being an awesome husband and father, while playing significant roles in my community. There is so much to accomplish and so little time!
One other thing that I can always look to for a good scare is the comfort in my own life. Earlier in the survey I mentioned that I like to keep a bit of unrest in mind to keep me on edge. With my current situation, most of my needs are met. That in and of itself is scary to me. I don’t want to be the guy who says, “I’ve got mine” and then just leave it at that. There are families who are disintegrating from the inside out because there isn’t anyone to encourage the men to grow and change and become caring, compassionate men of strength. There’s too much hype and expectation of men to become manly and strong and macho (just look at commercials). We’re lacking solicitation of men who will stand in the gap – men interested in bettering the world and becoming king makers rather than kings of their own domain.
What do you think it means to be an American man?
America was founded by God fearing men fighting for freedom. We have digressed as a nation allowing everything to be accepted, expecting nicey-nice behavior from all sides. 9-11 was a shock, and many people think that it shouldn’t have happened. I’m proud of the Americans who, in the midst of criticism and fear, did what was right.
I love the movie The Patriot. Mel Gibson exhibits someone who I feel is at his core, an American Man. He loves his family, and loves his country. He’s not interested in fighting for fighting’s sake. However, when the fight is brough to his door, he cannot stand by to watch it occur. He must act. His passion for family and freedoms is a lesson to us all.
I appreciate Stu Weber’s approach to Manhood. He writes in Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart: Bringing Strength into Balance:
What kind of man has shoulders broad enough to build upon? A four-pillared man:
A man of vision and character . . . a King.
A man of strength and power . . . a Warrior.
A man of faith and wisdom . . . a Mentor.
A man of heart and love . . . a Friend.(6)
To sum up the American man: I’d say he’s one to stand in the gap.