It’s been a freakin’ long time since I’ve taken a moment to post, so I’m here again to check in, although I might not be particularly thorough in my writings. Alas, it’s the way a jumble mind works.
Heather is sleeping, it’s our date night, and while I’m having a lovely time by myself perusing facebook and playing poker on my iphone, I’m sure I could be altogether more productive. But again, here I am.
I guess some reflection was (past) due.
In less than a week, Heather and I will depart on a fun-filled and fairly frantic frolick (sp?) far from home. Ha.
Here’s what’s going to happen:
Friday: Juneau to Portland.
Sunday: Portland to Seattle.
Monday: Seattle to Carson City.
Thursday: Carson City to Denver.
Sunday: Denver to Nebraska.
Monday: Nebraska to Denver, to Seattle.
Monday through Sunday: All around the greater Seattle Area for Eli’s wedding. (Port Townsend, Seattle, Leavenworth, maybe even down to Portland.)
Monday: Back to Juneau.
I’m excited, I’m scared. I’m daunted, I’m calm. It should be a great trip.
Heather’s Dad, Grandfather and Aunt will all be at the Portland FED, and Grandpa Beaudette will be recognized as one of the veterans. Very cool.
Okay, my brain was more enthusiastic than my fingers; I’m ready to tie it down for the moment. But maybe in my reflective state, I’ll be back soon! We’ll see…
It’s now 2010. In fact, January 3rd. Tomorrow I head back to the daily grind of working at UAS. I found myself nearly in tears at the futility of it, and the desire to be free of the all-to-frequent torture called “employment”.
That aside for the moment, I thought I’d do some quick journaling of the break and of the last year in keeping with the reflection process that I like to maintain.
First of all, the break. We’ve had 10 days off, weekends included from UAS. It’s been nice to have, and fun to stay up until all hours of the day, get an activity or two in away from the house, and then to spend time with Heather nearly the entire time. We had a chance to watch quite a few movies – mostly rentals (Avatar & Sherlock Holmes in the theater, at $10.50/ticket, interestingly.)
New years was good. We went out to a long dinner at the canton house and proceeded through some of the Glenn Bland Success Methods for planning and scoping the future. Heather is excited about any manner of planning, and I go into it with a more stoic mindset, but nonetheless, it was a good experience to talk about what we see for ourselves and our future. I took a few notes, of course, but don’t have my notebook nearby, so I can’t regale you with them now. After dinner, we came back to the house for a bit, and then ended up heading out to West Glacier trail with the Wildes crew. Generally, we spend new years doing some sledding at the Mendenhall Visitor Center area, but this year, there wasn’t any snow for us. Instead, it was remarkably cold, crisp, and had an incredibly bright moon that was casting shadows from anything it could get it’s reflected light around. I took a few pictures from the ice, and then a couple of group shots, and we called it a night.
Christmas was mostly good. I really enjoyed the process of pouring out fun and useful things to Heather. I might have gone a bit over the top in trying to get everything from her list, but of all the ways to have error in the process, that’s a good one. She was very thoughtful to me as well with things like a bike repair stand, an apple wireless access point, books, etc. She was on the receiving end for several books, gloves, socks, a chair (if it ever comes) movies, cooking items, and probably more. We even went above and beyond in designing and sending out a 2010 calendar with my photos for all of our friends and family. An order of 25 goes a long way. I think we only have 3-4 more.
2009 has treated me well. It feels like largely it’s been a blur. I can recall that in April, we got engaged (insert blur effect here) and then in June, married. That whole process was incredible, and a great example of what’s possible to two people when the dream is the driving motivator. We had tons of friends and family, and were able to have an incredible experience of love and connection with each other and our friends.
So, June happened, it was good. Blur some more. In September, Heather and I departed for our first-of-many honeymoon. Juneau to Seattle to San Francisco to (blur more) Memphis. It was absolutely wonderful to spend quality time with Heather and also with the Wildes on the road across the nation. We had some memories made, and some fun had, all with the joy of a 30+ foot RV. I’m still working on the photo album afterwards.
After the honeymoon, things seemed to have blurred by. We have been going to church at the Juneau Christian Center, and further had fun with the McGoey’s in a small group setting aimed towards improving our marriages. Interestingly, we are sparse to connect; I’m not sure if it’s based on mis-matched schedules, or if it’s another mechanism, but for the 3-4 times we’ve met, we’ve been talking about it for most of the year.
A little bit of benchmarking:
Technology in the house:
I’m not really sure what else I might want to note, but at just near 1000 words for this post, I think I’m doing pretty good for a recap. Let’s hope and pray and act as though 2010 will be the best year yet.
-cb
“Good for you!”
I’m sitting in the waiting area waiting to get on the plane headed to Anchorage for a BBBS Board Meeting. It’s interesting to hear people nearby sharing their travel plans and in the case of a vacation, the dominating response has been, “good for you!”
Why is it that it’s Good For Me to not be at work, to take time off? If it’s so good for me, why do we spend so many hours and days and weeks and months and years throwing our time at this thing that it’s Good fFor Us to be away from?
I think that largely, people don’t want to have a job. People want to expand their horizons and to explore their surroundings. They want to suck the marrow out of the bones of life and to become more and more connected to the world around them. And on the topic of connection, why is it that we spend so much time seeking connection, and yet fleeing from the truth about ourselves and others? It seems that only the rare individual really works to know the “me of me”, as Buscaglia puts it.
Had a conversation last night with Alex. It turns out that she’s still carrying the burden of a past pain. She is clinging to the concept that she could have changed the outcome by saying, “no.” While that may or may not be the case, it’s up to us to let go of the past and work on the present. It’s not our fault, and even if it were, what purpose does it serve?
Anyhow, off to Anchorage.
April 5, 2004
Alright, another day. So I slept in a bit more than I expected, but I still had the chance to get to go to breakfast with Helen – I think it’d be nice if she were a bit more cheery in the morning – I suppose she didn’t get enough sleep last night – though I would bet that it’s more related to attitude.
I am hoping to get a bumped flight today, though it pends having Sharon contact me back before I’m supposed to get on the plane. As it stands, I’m getting into Juneau at 1:40, and then have pickup for Sharon and deposits to handle… I’d like to get bumped, but it means that I’d get into Juneau later this evening or even tomorrow. Ugh.
Sharon gets into Chicago at around 4 pm (1 pm Juneau time. That means that she should be able to get the message and respond before 9 am, right? I hope so.
Alright, this is another method for relaying what I am thinking. I don’t exactly know right now, so I think this will likely be a forum to express some of what I have been feeling recently. Well, we will see how it turns out.
I wonder where Jaime is… I hope that she isn’t getting herself into too much trouble. One can only handle so much. I would like to talk to her when I get back, but I don’t know if I will have the time as it will be somewhat late at that point (as it is already 1:20 in the morning) Okay, so what do I have going on in my head?
This was an absolutely amazing weekend. I don’t think I have spent a better time with closer friends. I was able to see Tommy, Dan, Corey, Jeff, and then Helen. This was amazing. I liked the spontanaety, I liked the atmosphere. I loved the time with Helen, that was the best part by far. There is so much that I would like to have, yet so much that I have jeapordized. I think it was great getting to know Jaime and Reesie, and that they will likely give their blessing to me to be with Helen. I know that I am a good Man to be in a relationship with. I know that I will constantly improve myself, because I am committed to the process of changing lives. I don’t know what it was about my physical actions, why I screwed around, why I couldn’t be stronger.
Perhaps it was because I wasn’t strong enough. If that is the case, why am I not strong enough? What gives?