February 28, 2007
I stopped out to my Mom’s house to drop off a couple of items and to visit. Upon arriving, I found the house to strongly smell of something. It seemed that Shane had decided to mix a large amount of oil essences in a pan of water and it smelled strongly. It was obvious that my mom didn’t like it as she was covering her face hoping to shield the scent.
Much of the conversation was scattered with Shane. He brought up concerns about past interactions (specifically, during a recent trip to Nebraska, I had a friend watch his dogs – he was concerned about their welfare, whether or not they were mistreated, unhappy or poisoned.). I consoled his concerns, and he moved on to other subjects, but most of the time, the converasation was, at best, confusing.
I think the overall sensation is that I couldn’t keep up with his conversation most of the time. He’d ask a question, out of the blue, but then when I said, “huh?” or “what?” he would stick to his guns and suggest that I heard him, and that I was being offensive by asking him those questions.
Later on in the evening, there were a couple of interactions where he would push me, or raise his voice. It seemed like he was trying to get a rise out of me, but I kept my calm for the most part – the only escalation was an irritation in my voice.
I had printed out the Release of Information, and explained that I wanted his help; that I was confused and was hoping to have support in being able to be a better friend and brother. His position seemed to be suspicious – he would ask if he could trust me. Eventually, with continued requests, he initialed all but two lines – the Lab results line, and the last line (something about specific meds?) Then he also signed the bottom.
However, a little while later, he asked to see the paperand then tore it up. His explanation is that he is testing me, because he doesn’t trust me.
Mom mentioned that he had told her to duct tape her window [closed?] because of the chance that a small child walked by and was scarred for life.
Shane brought me into the bathroom and explained (without any prompting) that he was concerned about my mom discovering him either the moment before, or after, masturbation.
The house was cold so I had left my coat on. Shane asked me to take it off. He indicated that he thought I might be wearing a wire.
There were several times where he would throw his fist at me but stop just before hitting me, as though he were hoping that I would react.
Periodically he would make comments like “you’d better not ___ (lie to me, etc)” The tone suggested an “or else” suffix, but when asking if he was indeed threatening, he would usually not answer.
My mom mentioned that he constantly is washing his hands, but refuses to clean any other area of the house. (as evidenced by his items laying all over the place.)
He asked if I thought I could “take” him (as in fighting.) He said that if I tried, he could bash my face in. He asked if I wanted to fight. To that, my consistent answer was no.
As I was leaving, he was on the porch. He stopped me to talk more. His tone was very aggressive. He indicated that I had two choices… however, the first didn’t make any sense. The second seemed like the results of an ultimatum, either I did A, or I would be subject to having a knife put in my back and the “scratched” across my neck. For each of these locations, he put his hand to my body and indicated that the knife would be behind my arm, under my shoulder blade, and then he also drew his hand across the back of my neck. As I stood in confusion of the comments, and his choice illustrations with his hand to my back, he went back inside, yelling things including “think about it”. Our exit was punctuated by him slamming the door.
At no point was I afraid of being struck. I had the confidence that if he chose to, I could either report the incident to police, or alternatively bind him so that he couldn’t hurt me any more. With the look in his eyes, i don’t doubt that at some point, he would choose to hit someone, but I felt it was more important for me not to be shaken by his errant behavior.
I am nervous for my Mom. She doesn’t have control, she is a victim in her own home – depending on how Shane chooses to behave. She doesn’t have a car to leave, he is staying at home, virtually rent free. Recently she told me that she had locked herself in her room because of his yelling and aggressive behavior. Also, earlier, she explained that he was referring to her not by Mom or a similar title, but with some title that included the word “ugly” (“ugly ___”) (I forget the word she had explained.)