Many weeks ago (mid december?) I was asked to give my testimony to our community group. I still feel oddly disconnected, but I see it as some kind of duty to fulfill requests of sharing my story when people ask (like when I shared my experience with BBBS from stage). Anyhow, a couple weeks ago I shared from my heart, and stitched together a story illustrating how God had been pursuing me, and inevitably seeking to connect. My notes were pretty basic…
Read the rest of this entry »It’s no big thing to start journaling again – I’m often the reflective type, mulling things over throughout the day while immersed in other tasks. I want to get better about writing my thoughts down though as it helps in thinking through things and also in creating an archive of life.
I decided to move away from photography and it’s been a bit challenging knowing that my identity is still closely tied to that vein. People expect it of me, I easily see myself there, and yet here I am.
And, while this is only a hundred words or so, I’ll close it up – nature calls and I’ve got a few things to tackle before work.
Till next time,
-Cody
NKJV Numbers 14:28, [28]”Say to them, ‘As I live,’ says the Lord, ‘just as you have spoken in My hearing, so I will do to you: [29] The carcasses of you who have complained against Me shall fall in this wilderness, all of you who were numbered, according to your entire number, from twenty years old and above. [30] Except for Caleb the son of JJephunneh and Joshua the son of Nun, you shall by no means enter the land which I swore I would make you dwell in. [31] But your little ones, whom you said would be victimes, I will bring in, and they shall know the land which you have despised.
NIV Numbers 14:28, [28] “So tell them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very think I heard you say.”
I am blessed.
I am strong.
I am healthy.
I am lucky.
I am talented.
I am disciplined.
I am focused.
I am prosperous.
I am blessed with abundance.
I am fearfully & wonderfully made.
I am getting younger.
I am getting taller.
I am being renewed.
I am full of health, vitality, wholeness.
I am energetic.
I am young.
I am radient.
I am fresh.
I am beautiful.
I am made perfectly.
I am a masterpiece.
I am created in the image of God.
I am a miracle.
I am a king in God’s eyes.
I am quietly confident.
I am handpicked by the creator of the universe.
I am wonderful.
I am one of a kind.
I am valuable.
I am anointed.
I am a good learner.
I am full of wisdom.
I am lighter.
I am 175 lbs.
I am who God says I am.
I am a lender.
I am accepted.
I am able.
I am qualified.
I am empowered.
I am wise.
I am equipped.
I am free.
Make a list of a dozen or two of the I Am’s that you desire to have in your life.
What kinds of I am’s are coming from my mouth? Words have creative power. [Romans 4:18] Call the things that are not as you already were.
The I Am’s that are coming out of your mouth will bring success or failure.
It affects our future.
What follows the “I am”, will always come looking for you.
Get in agreement with God.
Negative reports spread faster than positive reports.
I’m typing on a bluetooth keyboard which is part of my Zaggmate which I just got to accompany my ipad. So far, I like it quite a bit. It’s easy to use, and while it’ll take a little while for me to get used to the small keys, it works.
Also, I am very used to keyboard commands which might not work on an ipad. Like switching apps? Command+Tab doesn’t really cut it.
Anyhow, just a quick post.
Chapter 2: The Big Secret of Dealing with People
c2p18:
“There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. / Remeber, there is no other way.”
This is an interesting concept to me. Not so much in it’s newness, but due to the fact that I wonder constantly about how this plays into altruism. I frequently see things with a interconnected thread that may not be readily visible to others. I think about the concern and compassion that comes with sharing, with being loyal, and with serving others. I tend to think I have a strong “altruistic” approach to life, but this passage nearly suggests that all of those altruistic efforts are actually, at their root level, a selfish action.
So, if the one way to get someone to do what I’d like is that you want to do it, well, what is it that you want!?
There were several examples offered in this short passage of the book. From Frued to Dewey and Lincoln (and more) it boils down to our basic need. The desire to be important.
The book outlines a few basic desires (c2p19):
“Some of the things most people want include:
1. Health and the preservation of life.
2. Food
3. Sleep
4. Money and the things money will buy.
5. Life in the hereafter.
6. Sexual Gratification.
7. The well-being of our children.
8. A feeling of importance.”
In the prior comments that I made about this chapter in the “quick” overview, I stopped briefly to ponder this list and what it means for us. I came to the realization that if EVERYONE is looking for these things, that who are we to forget that we’re all on the journey of life together, and largely looking for the same things. We don’t necessarily talk about the specifics of the process, but it’s always there, lying in wait under the surface.
What is fascinating is that while we all have these basic interests, we rarely dialog on them in our common day-to-day experiences. Why is that? Is it that we weren’t brought up with the self confidence to feel safe explaining that it’s something we want? In an interesting parallel, the WorldWide Diamonds are willing to talk about these topics from stage. What does this tell me? That the desire to be important, that the desire to have a particular set of results in my life is not unusual, but merely unspoken. And further: if I want to take my life to a next phase, talking about those things becomes incredibly important as I have need to focus both internally and externally on those items in order to necessarily gravitate towards them. It’s “the secret” of “the slight edge”.
c2p30:
“One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.”
What a true statement. I wonder if the outcome of many people’s life is due to this lack of appreciation? My brother, Kimmy, Joan. All folks who have amazing latent possibilities and talents, but who opt to fight their own nature of greatness, all in search of this sensation of “importance” that is fleeting, at best, when chased.
How can I remember to pay heed to this concept in my relationships, most importantly the relationships with myself and my wife.
Let’s all remember this adage (c2p31):
“I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
Principle 2:
“Give Honest and sincere appreciation.”
Chapter 1p5.
“few…regard themselves as bad men. They are just as human as you and I. So they rationalize, they explain. They can tell you why… Most of them attempt by a form of reasoning, fallacious or logical to justify their … acts even to themselves, consequently stoutly maintaining that they should never have been [imprisoned at all].”
It’s true, if we’re all carrying the human condition, we can all be quick to support and encourage through the process; and as much as when we’re attacked, we take a defensive posture to protect our ego, others will be doing the same.
Per the conversation last night: perhaps our interactions with the human condition can be best handled through offering grace to ourselves and others.
“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment.”
So, another question from this: how can I be careful not to react in a defensive, justifying way? How do I avoid having my pride and sense of importance hurt?
Perhaps the answer in their lies in knowing WHO’s I am, rather than what I am based on all of the external input I may or may not receive.
Lincoln had a fairly level response, c1p10:
“Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”
c1p14:
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures pristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”
Aha, the question of how to accomplish all of this comes to mind, and here on p14, one take on the answer is outlined clearly:
“…it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. / ‘A great man shows his greatness … by the way he treats little men.’”
And, recall the story of Hoover and the jet that nearly crashed because of the fueling accident. He responds with “character and forgiving” (c1p15):
“To show you I’m sure that you’ll never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow.”
What a phenomenal way to help a person grow through the experience of mistake and correction. Many times, we’ll find that the person in error is already in a self-condemning place. Why not encourage, support and love them into a place of functionality. Further, if a person does not find fault in their own action, why would our efforts of criticism help them change their mind. Perhaps it would only raise the anger and bitterness of them and certainly wouldn’t enable growth and good feelings.
c1p17:
“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. ‘To know all is to forgive all.’ / ‘God himself … does not propose to judge man until the end of his days’ / Why should you and I?”
Here’s another answer to to the question of HOW to handle this challenge of being gracious to others in our daily exchange… Sympathy, tolerance and kindness. So, an a word, perhaps Grace is the overarching umbrella of love to cover our friends, family and fellow fleshbags. 😉
The culminating principle: “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.”
Chapters 1-2 quick read was exactly that. 31 pages in as many minutes. The initial summary that I would offer is:
* never criticize, condemn, or complain
and second,
* always uplift and encourage to inspire cooperation and enthusiasm from people.
On to other tasks!
After dreamnight I made an effort to take a look at my reading energy and to work to make it more intentional. Upon response to my solicitation for what books to be reading, Bill suggested some of the basics, intended to improve people skills now for speedy growth and volume.
80% reading about winning with people. (Take eyes off my self and put them on other people).
Basic books on personal development.
Take eyes off self – build myself up inside so that the internal scripts change; attack scripts
Being Happy
Stuff that increases your skillset to create volume now.
So, today I’ll be reading from How to Win Friends & Influence People.
275 total pages.
1 week = 40 pages/day
2 weeks = 20 pages/day
3 weeks = 13 pages/day
4 weeks = 10 pages/day
I want to WIN. I want to grow. I want to move on I have a vision for my life, a motivating factor: bringing my wife home from work, bringing myself home from work, being engaged in the process of success in my life!
I will read 40 pages/day for the next week and take notes on the materials. More than likely, this will take me an hour a day – where possible I will study before going to the office, or during a lunch time so as to not be withdrawn from my relationship with Heather nor to get in the way of business development.
Let’s get started with the introduction:
Intro: 9 suggestions to get the most out of the book:
1. A burning desire to increase your ability to deal with people.
To develop the urge, repeat over and over: “My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.”
2. Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a brief eye view of it and then go back and reread it thoroughly.
3. Stop reading frequently to think about the materials.
4. Mark the book up with a highlighter or pen.
5. Review regularly, even after the book is completed.
6. Apply the rules outlined in the book at every opportunity.
7. Offer my spouse a dollar each time she identifies me violating a certain principle.
8. Review your week.
Ask yourself…
…what you did well
…what you did poorly
…how could I improve
…what lessons did I learn
9. Record triumphs in the back of the book, be specific, including names, dates, etc.
The book has 30 chapters. With the suggestion of reading and then re-reading, it may be valuable to adjust the time scale. If I aim to read the book in 15 days, that equates to two chapters per day. If I am aggressive about reading and re-reading, I’ll follow a sequence like:
Day 1: Quick read of ch 1-2
Day 2: Thorough read of 1-2, quick read of 3-4
Day 3: Thorough read of 3-4, quick read of 5-6
…repeated…
This seems like it lends itself best to the retention of the materials. Ingrained repetition, agreesive pace and personal victory lie ahead!
Haha… so I titled this “love is kinda” – just thought that was funny. On with the notes…
===Notes from the small group session===
1 John 4:19 We loved because he first loved us.
Romans 5:5 Hope does not disappoint us,, because God has poured his love into our hearts by the Holy spirit, whom he has given us.
In many ways, our sensation of “needing” him is actually a calling of him for our love.
Loving someone when not feeling lovable.
love & respect: crazy cycle
philipians 2:1-4 if you have any encouragement from being united with christ… make joy complete by being like minded…(note the if-then statements)
long term perspective… don’t get caught up in the moment; consider our lifetime, consider eternal things.
===Thoughts===
Heather & I had a bit of a conflict earlier today where I was less than loving in my response to not listening to her explain her staying later at work prior to connecting with me. Really it was all a large misunderstanding. More thoughts coming later…
LOOK IN THE MIRROR!