I’ve been married for nearly 5 months, and while I’ve been able to keep away from other women in person, I notice my heart sometimes feels deceptive to my goal of faithfulness to my wife.
I love her deeply, and even though we experience challenges with communication or other things, I’m still deeply committed to making her life wonderful.
Lately, when we’ve had a bit of tension in our relationship, I see my acumen for focus on her as my one-and-only to be clouded. The other day there was an exchange with a gal at work which was more than suggestive. While I don’t think I have the capacity to follow through with such things, it makes me nervous that my wife isn’t the one constantly at the forefront of my mind.
It therefore becomes paramount for me to engage in a lifestyle that supports a long and well built relationship. To date, the most significant time that we’ve shared in pursuit of one another was during our honeymoon, after a week or more, when we were still in close quarters with the Wildes.
We were strongly sexed and excited to be intimate and close with oneanother. Now, I’m seeing my brain navigate toward other options including, but not limited to pornography and even a past fling and the fact that it would be nearly impossible for Heather to know that I was an adulterous spouse.
Fortunately, I don’t think I could keep quiet about such a dynamic in our relationship… and for that reason, I don’t think that I could follow through with such an action because I want to be transparent with my wife.
Well, she’s about done with the stuff on her list, so I’ll wrap this up. As much as I am excited at the thought of an illicit affair, I’m stoked to love my wife more deeply each day, week, month and year into the future.
We (I) will learn to be more faithful, less distracted and a better husband all around.
I love you Heather.
I’m sorry for my struggles, as I know that they pain you.
Lord, I’m ready to be taken over and directed to sure footing and safe travels. Help me to be the Husband you wish me to be for Heather, and to enact that role in such a way as to bring honor to you, and to be available to be used as an example to others. Help me dilute my polluted mind with your love, and the future that Heather and I have together. Amen.