Yep, it’s been another long delay since my last entry.
I’m sitting at the waffle shop right now, after just spending a nice evening of taking some photos out the road near tee harbor, as well as at the shrine.
Something sits heavy on my heart right now, though I can’t precisely identify what it is. While at the shrine I went to “The Gap” there I had a moment of prayer that was essentially me asking for help with cleaning up my life and fixing my heart. More and more I recognize that I am able to make fiends and be close, and then using that ability, get closer to someone than I really need to be. Just since Helen and I have broken up, Heidi, Heather, Helen… yeah, I need to figure things out.
I feel somewhat negligent towards my business right now, and that lends it’s own source of guilt, my relationships with women lend to feeling guilty, there is so much that I feel guilty about. I would love to release that, to feel free from any burden, to feel that people aren’t judging of my actions. Perhaps it’s my heart and desires that have to change, perhaps its my actions. How do I get out of my present situation?