Kind of a silly title, but it’s why I’m posing again so soon. I find that heather & I are a warm duo in bed. If there’s any challenge to date, it’s that I’m not getting a lot of solid sleep at the moment.
For some reason, my room has not dipped below 72 degrees in quite a while. I’ve opened doors & windows and set up fans, but still the temperature remains high.
In the meantime, Heather obviously isn’t as affected by the heat. I wake up in the morning at the edge of the bed (either side, it seems) and her right up next to me. I enjoy snuggling, but it takes a lot for me to be able to sleep with any sort of consistency nowadays.
Heather is still upstairs sleeping, and I’m downstairs, attempting to cool off, and getting a journal entry in while I’m at it.
Such is love. 🙂
Yeah, it’s hard to translate a strong lisp from the Princess Bride into a journal subject line.
Let’s fast forward 8 weeks from the last post: I’m married.
Wait, what?
Yeah, that’s right, I’m married.
The proposal went well, and the engagement was a breeze – literally – it went by fast and all we could feel was the burn of not sleeping and a bit of a wind on our faces. I’m married now which is great, but brings complexities to the tune of not being sure where I stand. I have a ring on my finger, and I feel well prepared to be a husband, but there are still nagging elements to marriage that I’m not sure how to handle.
Take for instance my wife’s desire to be rid of her job, and to have me rid of mine. I don’t like working much, well, mostly the alarm portion of the process, and I don’t like my wife answering to another collection of dictators who don’t take into considerations her specialties and capabilities.
I want to be a Double Eagle Ruby, but that pursuit scares me. I don’t have a track record that suggests I know how to do it, I feel hesitance to run out the door and get it done, but yet, there’s a fire underneath wanting to do everything in my power to provide my wife what it is that she wants and needs. There’s the crutch: am I capable, and am I worthy of success?
Maybe part of my issue is a comparison game to those who have gone before me. I don’t see the Bill Wildes & Brad Wolgamotts to be riddled with self doubt and fear of the unknown, because they’ve already overcome those things. I don’t see those guys afraid to be fearful, and yet having the courage to step out on faith and do it.
Faith is a funny thing. It brought me here, to marriage, with no earthly explanation for my pursuit of it. When it all comes down to it, it feels right to be married to heather. I am at peace with it. I guess I’m focusing too much on the details of going ruby, the plans needed, the clients needed, the downline needed, and not just focusing on how right it feels to move forward in that direction helping others achieve their hopes and dreams. It’s taken me a dozen years to get to this place, and I feel less worthy of acheiving big goals because I wasn’t some hot-shot two-percenter guy. I’m a nobody from Juneau, Alaska just hoping to do some thing right — something bigger than myself.
I want to have the means to bless others. My wife, my self, my family, my friends, my community, my world. I need funds to do it, and I’m not sure I understand the steps it requires for me to acheive it. I make things too complicated. When getting married, I was required to check in with trusted friends (“I’m not crazy, am I?”) and then get to moving on it (“will you marry me?”) to excecuting the party (“when? where? how?”). It was one step at a time, with little sleep, moving furiously towards a goal. I made lists, purchased things, put life on hold, and kept running towards the finish line.
With a double-eagle ruby business, I would have the finances to travel at my whim, treat my wife first class, be retired from our dayjobs if we so choose, drive safer cars, enjoy some of the latest technology, and put massive amounts of money into savings to boot.
I recognize that building an amway business is just a matter of turning the numbers. We develop households into shopping units who purchase consistently, and of those, some will self-identify as business builders with greater dreams and aspirations.
It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed with the process of getting from here to there. In my engagement though, I just held tightly to the feeling of peace in my choice, and the understanding that it would all work itself out by His hand. I guess that’s the case in this instance too. I can sit back and be fearful, or I can press forward in faith. I choose faith, but I’m not sure how. I need a guide to help place my steps in the process. I’m capable of lifting my foot, but not confident in its placement. I need the path.
I’ve committed to another batch of core. We’ve got a group of winners digging in to do a week at a time to grow themselves, stretch and achieve.
It’s been good to be back on the bandwagon, but the fears are still there and real.
I want to figure out myself to grow past some of those things such as transitioning folks through the pipeline sheet. I may have the ability to grow someone from a name to a prospect, or perhaps even show them the plan in some cases, but often getting things to a deeper involvement of following up and HELPing other people seems to be a slow part. Fortunately, I am a new person through christ. I am a mirror to reflect his power, glory and love. As he wishes, he gets, provided I can learn to put Him first.
Lots of learning yet to be done.
Today, core has consisted of the following:
cds. Listened to the Brad & Julie Duncan Rally 3 times today, and the thing I caught most from it is my likeness to Brad in that I just want to be FREE. I want to sleep in, I want to explore, I want to roll over and kiss my wife, not roll out to work. I want to be solely committed to my wife. I want to be solely committed to my business. I want to breathe life into others through my efforts with my business. I want to be an encourager, an uplifter, a life giver.
books. Additionally, we (as a group) are reading from Created for Excellence. I’m reading out of the first chapter which is speaking specifically towards vision. In the margin, I took some notes that I thought worthy to comment on here. It’s in the area where the book is asking me to write my personal vision. Perhaps writing it here will help me to articulate it so that I can put the answer on the lines and send it back up to Bill rather than being held back through my lack of clarity.
To start with, my strengths to be aware of what I am naturally inclined towards: Belief, Harmony, Deliberative, Analytical, Developer.
* Empower & support dreams of others
* Encourage others
* Overcome adversity
* Bestow love, attention & passion to people I meet.
* Reveal (latent?) inherent greatness within kids and adults alike.
* Men maker
* Discover/uncover/reveal greatness within people
* Master of my own circumstances
* Duncan says, “Blow God’s mind with your response.”
* Hold no bitterness – have grace with all.
The lord is teaching me to move and act before I have all of the answers. As I understand my vision more clearly, I’ll be sure to post again.
Personal Use. vitamins, xs, water, Parmesan, cookies, snackbar, rhodiola, rice, and maybe some more. I ate a salad, fruits & veggies that came from full circle farms or safeway. A pretty good day towards pers. use.
Retail clients. Sharon indicated that the best and most consistent clients are those who find water, twist tubes and xs to be on their shopping list. Ove rthe next few days, I’ll think more on how I can develop clientelle in that category.
counsel. accountability. I had a conversation about an interaction that Bill had earlier in the day with Elly’s girlfriend. She had snuck behind his back to do some laundry after he explicitly explained that it was an expense that she is not paying for and then left. Part of me is completely in agreement that she was in the wrong, but part of me wonders if Bill might be reacting more strongly than necessary. I guess it’s in where you draw the line, but I certainly see both sides, and personally disagree with Molly’s approach.
Voicemail. I’ve kept up with kate today, though I haven’t yet send out a message of my own to bill.
btw, I did pickup too.
premier. listening to CDs, but also initiated the download of nearly 90 more mp3s for adding to my library.
stp. 4 new names, three additional touches. Would like to be more intentional about making touches with an eye towards developing them as business partners.
====
Another topic that I’m fiercely engaged in is the state of the relationship that I hold with Heather. ach day, I think I am closer and closer to asking for her hand in marriage, but I don’t feel comfortable with following through before I clearly articulate my weaknesses and talk openly about what I consider to be some of my darkest secrets. I don’t want to have secrets in the relationship, and in this situation, I want her to be on my side.
I’m trying to re-locate my Fit to be Tied book to re-cover the first portion of the bigger blocks to make sure I’m making a decision with my feet on the ground. rather than just my head in the clouds.
the confusion and obfuscation of what the future holds is becoming less gripping as I reach the conclusion that I will never be beyond uncertainty, but I can choose to make the big decision and then work daily to make those decisions reality.
God extends his power and grace to me, and through Christ, I can do all things.
25 Things by Cody
Feb, 2009
1. I am the chair of the Juneau Big Brothers Big Sisters Board, and I sit on the Statewide board. In these roles, I frequently and profoundly feel “out of my element”. It’s an irrational fear, but nonetheless real as I’m sitting in the room with well established and highly respected community members (read: Directors, Managers, CFO’s, VP’s, & Presidents from some of the largest organizations across the state).
2. Speaking of irrational fears, I don’t dance much because I’m concerned with my appearance through the learning process. I frankly don’t want to feel (well, look) foolish, even though I know that’s part of the learning process. I have the feeling (and others have told me, too) that when I decide to pursue such things, I’ll be quite good. I was building courage to take one of Shane Wirtz’s UAS classes, but then he left and some new person is teaching… Ack! Change!
3. In fourth grade, upon returning to school (after the summer my father died) Rebecca Hall (now Brooks) was the only person to offer her consolations for my loss. I will never forget that. If I think about it much, it’s something that brings tears to my eyes. (Thank you, Rebecca.)
4. Though this is pretty largely known by my friends, I think it says a lot about who I am, have become, and will continue to be. I haven’t consumed alcohol since I was 14. I had a single conversation where I was called out in my lie by a man who didn’t care about the action, but cared about me. It was in that moment that I realized that I was letting alcohol become more important than my relationships even at that age. From my father’s death (cirrhosis of the liver, aka Alcohol Poisoning), I knew the pain that could inflict. Since then, it has never been hard to pass up a drink. (Thank you for your love, Bill.)
5. Again, largely known: I’m compelled to recycle. (Read: I cannot “let it go”, it’s as ingrained as my analytical nature.) Further, I cannot comprehend why someone wouldn’t take the effort to do the same. Interestingly, I think it’s driven by an underlying (and inherent) sense that ALL things are interconnected, and that only through individual action can we impact the world at large.
6. My closest (known) opportunity to die was when I was a wee young lad at a BBBS overnight camping excursion to John Muir Cabin. I was sleeping on the second “floor”/loft and rolled off the edge, in my sleep, landing on my rear. My recollection is that this was nearly a 14′ fall. While I didn’t like the bruised and bloodied flesh wound, it was better than the alternative: one person who was awake saw it happened, and explained that a few inches away from where my head landed was a cast-iron wood-stove corner. I’d rather deal with pain than death, methinks.
7. Ever since the start of this 25-thing craze, I have been secretly wanting someone to tag me, and in the last week, I’ve been tagged three times. I really wanted an excuse to start the list, and even share it with others. I see this list as an opportunity to reflect and note “things” that are significant to me. Subsequently, I intend to archive it for posterity. Likewise, I keep a digital journal that I someday expect to turn to a printed & bound book so that my grandchildren can read about the struggles and victories that I have encountered.
8. My photo and a quote was published in Esquire magazine after someone contacted me via myspace to complete a survey about what it’s like to be a 25-year-old man in America. I spent hours pondering and writing, fully and completely answering their short questionnaire (10 or so questions) about a variety of things. They used only 2 sentences from the question ‘Do you feel like you’ve entered “manhood”?’. The quote? “Most of the truly masculine men I know are also the first to admit their own mistakes and shortcomings. I openly admit that I have a long way to go.”
9. I never had aspirations of being a Photographer. Even now, I find the idea that folks will compensate me for something I love to do to be a pretty cool thing, and I am appreciative that these individuals can bless me for blessing them. Part of me wants to stretch and learn and do more… Who knows where it would go — for the quality of work I do, I believe I could be a highly paid (aka 6 digits/yr) photographer, but part of me really likes the fact that I can leave my camera on the shelf for months on end and it doesn’t stress me out.
10. On the photography theme… Some day, while financially independent, I think it’d be pretty neat to be the right-hand man for a shooter like Joe McNally or Chase Jarvis. The learning curve would be intense, but I think with my ultra-helper personality, it’d be a great fit. If not a right-hand man, I think I’d be plenty satisfied traveling the world over to capture moments to share with others.
11. As a kid, I remember seeing one of those Mall hallway stands where you could look up your name and buy a key chain or some other trinket. My name meant “CUSHION”. I always thought that was pretty lame… a soft thing that you sit on. As I grew up, I realized that if you look at the “cushion” as a “support”, it’s actually a perfect fit. It’s hard to find someone more interested in helping, and not just as the Mr. Fix It (I do that too). I fancy myself as the kind of guy you’d want to have as a friend – loyal to the end, and constantly willing to lend a hand. This means that I’m always a sucker for someone to ask me if I’ll help them move. 🙂
12. I passionately want to view money in the same way that we all look at oxygen. I want to just know that I have enough, and that because of this I can live accordingly by making RIGHT decisions rather than financially prudent ones. I expect to be the friend and family member that others come to when things are tough and the nephew needs braces but the parents can’t afford it. I want to be secure enough financially that it is never a loan, it’s always a gift.
13. I am an intense advocate for living below your means and debt free. This goes so far that at this point (still subject to change), I have no intentions of EVER entering debt, this includes any sort of “healthy debt” or mortgage. I recognize that this means that I may miss “opportunities”, but I am passionate about living in a way as to be responsible to my posterity, and if I am in debt, it means that I have committed future work towards the payoff of that debt. I see this as trying to predict the future, which I cannot yet do. (I do not believe that any job is secure, as the position is always at the discretion of the market/business owner). I do not believe that my ability to perform (make money) is so guaranteed that I would never encounter any type of injury or disablement.
14. On the subject of finances… You can be the most well educated dude or dude-ette from the fanciest school available, and you might just have a doctorate with an IQ twice that of mine, but until you have the RESULTS I want — financially independent with amazing relationships with your family and friends — and a financial interest in my future, I am not going to heed your advice on the topic of money. It amazes me at how many people are willing to take the “good advice” from their cubicle neighbor who is in debt up to their eyeballs. If they have never been there, they’re not a good tour guide to visit the promise land. Find someone who’s gone and come back to help others! 🙂
15. Recently, I have taken to building websites out of frustration. For years I have wanted to have a site that cataloged the eateries in Juneau with some description of the cuisine (if not a menu), and perhaps some comment on the establishment. The fact that many restaurants do not have a website bothers me too. It is entirely possible that I will begin building websites for these establishments so that I can find their menu when I want it.
16. Further, I cannot STAND those sites that were built back in the early days of the Internet but never were updated. I don’t care if it’s ignorance or some other reason, but if your site is still in the dark ages, let me know; my name is Cody, and I’m here to help. I think these sites should immediately be pulled off of the web and replaced with something as simple as a place-holder. In one instance, I’ve entirely rebuilt the site (on my own time, and without his knowledge) in an effort to expose the site owner to something I call “the present”.
17. I’ve always been an entrepreneur as long as I can recall. I’m the guy that sold Beef Jerky from my locker in middle school, and was quite profitable (and popular). Before that, on a smaller scale, it was juicy fruit & pepsi. Since those times, I’ve expanded my product lines, and my profit dramatically. 🙂
18. Despite #17, I don’t fancy myself much of a salesman, or naturally talented with marketing. I think this may be due to my own calculating personality (you generally cannot sell me on something, but if you give me the info, I’ll make up my own mind and I will be a loyal shopper till the cows come home.) This is obviously an Achilles’s heel for me, and I’m working to get better at it.
19. I tend to pretend that my vices are not visible to others, and am terrified that they might just be public knowledge. I have this sneaking sensation that people know, but because it’s an awkward topic to address, they leave me with the space to work on it myself… Part of me appreciates this respectful consideration, but a slightly more masochistic part of me wants to just get things out in the open to deal with it at large. Hmm…
20. Religion has been somewhat of a struggle for me. I’ve always had a strong belief in a higher power, and I know I’m not Him. 😉 I find myself waffling at all of the intricacies of various churches and their tenets. My journey has led me to a point where I seek to accept and understand whatever perspective a person offers rather than casting it off as wrong and different. In that way, many Christian organizations confuse me. I appreciate the perspective that We are spiritual beings trying to be human, rather than human beings trying to be spiritual.
21. At a young age (10? 12?) I was handy enough to crawl under the house to repair pipes that had frozen and split. Unfortunately, the foundation had settled in such a way as to spill some pretty foul stuff. (Don’t make me spell it out, okay?) Partly because of this, and due to the state of repair of the rest of the house, it was decided that we would tear it down and build anew. Unfortunately, this wasn’t an efficient transition and never did happen while I was at home. Most of my teen years were spent with a “bedroom” that was an 20-something foot Airstream travel trailer.
22. My childhood was a great one. I cherish the fact that I had the chance to grow up running around in the woods and feeling safe in our neighborhood. Because of the “out-the-road” location, there weren’t a lot of kids my age, and so I recall spending plenty of quality time with the surrounding neighbors. Rather than playing with other kids, I was learning from the Montour’s how to garden, take care of chickens, tie flies, play chess, and even make a boomerang from scratch. I felt left out that there weren’t other kids my age, but I wouldn’t trade the experiences for the world.
23. I tend to be very trusting with my stuff. I’ll hand you $3000 worth of photography equipment just so you can see what it’s like. Then I’ll walk away to do something else. I leave my key in my car and up until recently, right in the ignition (and I still would if it weren’t for that annoying beep). I recognize that the world does have people who will take advantage of me, but I value the approach… so much so, that when I lose something, I just consider that as part of the cost of my trusting. I know I could be more reserved, but I pay for that too, just up front with the concerned behavior.
24. I love to draw people together. I think it is linked to my desire for harmony, but I like to be a catalyst to get groups going. In high school there were dance parties for friends & friends of friends (thanks for the house, Mike!), and now, the Juneau Ultimate scene is something I’m fairly involved in… I find that I don’t really do it for any overt recognition, I just get a kick from seeing other people have a good time together.
25. As my mother can attest, I am an advocate for anti-packrat-ing’ness (if that’s any sort of word) – I am constantly cleaning and purging and asking “is this really something you need?”. That said, and somewhat related to my recycling knack, I am a pretty significant collector of things too. I’ll blame it on Mom, but it may very well be linked to my interest in some type of security (if something breaks, I’ve got a backup.) I love the idea of being a minimalist, but I think until I move residences again with some short time-box, I’ll likely continue collecting stuff with the thought that I might just have a garage (or “free, take-it-away”) sale sometime during the next summer. If you need something, let me know, I might just have an extra.
Recently I met someone online that immediately seemed to be out for sex.
Though I don’t understand why I was chosen, other than I have a nice profile picture, I feel compelled to reflect on the premise of validation. What am I validated by? Answer that, and it tells a much broader picture of who I am inside. Perhaps not who I am in essence, but what my focus is on presently.
I keep coming back to feeling powerful when women are attracted to me. I feel powerful when I have some semblance of control
[and pause for 2 months…]
It’s now March 9th, and I figure that I might not be planning to finish this post anytime soon. I’ll just post it and call it good. Maybe someday I’ll write another, but then again maybe not. Time will tell. 🙂
[fast forward to July 15th, and I find that it didn’t publish back then… publishing now, and giving it a date of Jan 9.]
Heather & I walked to her house today, and had a lovely chat along the way. During the conversation, she mentioned that I am the most important person in her life. I’m not sure if I mis-heard it, but nonetheless, whether those were the exact words or not, that was the gist. I realized with my darkness and the fact that I have been having sex with other women behind her back, the pain she stands to experience is immense. It’s terrifying to me that I might inflict that kind of pain on another… and yet, when I think about it, if Heather were to drop that kind of message or situation on me, I wouldn’t be nearly as hurt… I don’t know if it’s cause I have the ability to confine things to different parts of my brain or whatnot.
That got me to thinking… why am I not vulnerable? What is it about vulnerability that scares me? I have multiple cars, multiple computers, bikes, women I sleep with… the list goes on I’m sure. But really the summary question is simply: why? is it because I grew up in a home that didn’t have much in the way of things that I could enjoy without fear of losing it? Is it somehow related to the fact that my father abandoned me, even unknowingly because of his choices for other things before choices for a family? Is it because I find myself unwilling because I want o be SEEN as strong by other people?
Why do I desire to be in control? to understand? what is it about that control and that sense of clarity that helps me?
I’m not sure if this will be continued another time, but it’s something to ponder on.
I’m getting up early in the morning to attend Heather’s exam/xray review at Dr. Shepro’s. Then I have a morning meeting with Penny about being a second shooter… then I head downtown to connect with Mischelle and her cohorts working to coordinate the 50th anniversary party… then, who knows.
g’nite. vulnerable one…
Listened through Genesis 13, though I’m not sure the value I get to listening to the story, vs reading and looking at the footnotes, etc.
Today I had the privilege to sit in on a leaders webcast done from Brad’s House. He talked about a number of things, but a couple stick out. (see more notes in my OneNote notes).
First, Brad mentioned the importance in journaling. Not writing in a diary, but documenting learning experiences and impactful information. It brought to mind that I would be wise to reinvest in learning – CORE can become a legalistic occurrence and thus the value in decreased dramatically.
Second, he talked about conflict resolution, which wasn’t so much focused on skills/tactics, but the meanings behind conflict and the overall desire to “win the man” rather than the war.
Also, most of my day was spent intermittently constructing tracking sheets. It was nice to recommit & reconstruct the information – I look forward to it being faster from consistently doing them.
Lastly, I really simply need to be real with people & dissolve my no-talk rules. I hurt others by keeping my mouth closed.
That’s all for now.
-cb
2006-06-13 – Journaling – How do I want to be liked?
Hey there me, how are you?
I’m at lunch. It’s nice because I decided to stay on campus and do a little journaling. So now I’m listening to John Maxwell’s Influencer 2 training, and drinking a lovely Cherry XS.
On my way over here, I thought that it’d be nice to do another Letter to Helen, like I did last night. It was a nice way to get my feelings out, and though I’m not sure that she’ll ever read them, it’s neat to see me being honest with myself and my own struggles.
This morning I chose not to awake early enough to listen to the tape of the morning. Last night I had watched Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle until 2 AM. It was a good movie, but for all its exciting content, I was less than pleased at the provocative content and attire of the three attractive main characters. I suppose that’s a lesson to be learned.
Instead of tape listening, I went downstairs and had breakfast quietly while I read from Traveling Light. I found this chapter to have great benefit, but lesser application. It was a chapter about the burden of Grief that comes with mourning a passing loved one. There were some points that I highlighted from the chapter, but as I don’t have the book in front of me, I’ll post them later.
Today, during work, I spent some time to create another space, specifically for work. It felt great to break away to spend important development time on content that I can specifically think about work for. I’ve set up the space at: http://spaces.msn.com/members/workincody/
At lunch, I read from The Richest Man in Babylon. It was an extremely short parable chapter explaining the scene of a strong attack against the walls of Babylon, and the city’s defense. We likewise cannot afford to be without adequate protection. This rings to me in different realms.
• Finances – the chapter’s intended context speaks to having insurance, savings, and dependable investments to be protected in the case of an unexpected tragedy.
• Emotionally – Seek out those who will assist in protecting you from non-productive thoughts. Don’t seek to spend time associating with those who are less developed in that realm, because it will wear off.
• Spiritually – Prayer makes a huge difference. Keeping your mind soaked in readings that will support your spiritual thinking helps to protect as well. Reading scripture. Rebuking attacts from the evil one is also sometimes imperitive.
• Physically – Having some sort of accountability can be useful. Go to the gym with a friend. Schedule your visits as to not miss them from lack of focused thought. Perhaps protection can mean keeping your gaurd up against ailments or physical harm – it may mean taking vitamins, or it could mean lifting weights to facilitate your defense, should the need arive.
Genesis 16-18 outlined more information about Abram. In verse 16, we are told the story of how Sarai, in her frustration gave her slave to Abram to have a son. That was a lame idea, because it only generated feelings of jealousy and malcontent. Eventually she beat her slave and drove her (Hagar) away. Fortunately for all, the Lord met Hagar in the desert, and bade her to return.
Next, in verse 17, the Lord committed to Abram that he would be the father of many nations, and with the new name Abraham, it was granted to him. As part of the process, he was circumsized along with all the men of his household. This was to signify the everlasting covenant that God had promised.
Verse 18 was about the precursors leading up to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. The 3 men (the lord?) who were to destroy Sodom & Gomorrah came to spend time with Abraham before continuing their journey of destruction. Abraham was a good servant, and was consoled that the city wouldn’t be destroyed if there were but 10 men that were good.
Matthew 7 contains more lessons of Jesus. There are some great scriptures in this brief chapter:
• “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” – Be liberal in your praise and reluctant in your condemnation. Heck, be liberal in everything!
• “For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
• “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
I listened to the Wolgamott Rally tonight. I picked up an item from each spouse: from Leslie, I recognize that it’s worthwhile to have the mission in mind even during the seemingly mundane task, and from Brad, I realize that the greatest fear in life, is not so much of dying, but of dying without living.
The Purpose Driven Life emphasized God’s purpose for us – to glorify Him. “The ultimate goal of the universe is to show the glory of God.” All sin, at it’s root is failing to give God glory.. To bring Glory to god, you can do everything that He directs you to do in your life – fulfill your purpose! “When anything in creation fulfills its purpose, it brings glory to God.”
God’s 5 purposes for my life (to bring glory to god):
Through worship of him – God wants our worship to be motivated by love, thanksgiving, and delight, not duty. Worship is far more than praising, singing, and praying to God. Worship is a lifestyle of enjoying God, loving him, and giving ourselves to be used for his purposes.
By loving other believers
By becoming like Christ – Spiritual maturity is becoming like Jesus in the way we think, feel and act. (Remember that Jesus wasn’t a passive, weak man, he was a man of great strength and resolve when the situation called for it.
By serving others with our gifts
By telling others about him – God expects us to share his truth with others. That in itself is a great privledge, helping them to find their purpose, and preparing them for their own eternal destiny.
Living your life for the glory of God will REQUIRE a change in your priorities, your schedule, your relationships, and everything else. “Will you live for your own goals, comfort, and pleasure, or will you live the rest of your life for God’s glory, knowing that he has promised eternal rewards?
Sometimes, you’ll be influenced to doubt; to wonder if you have the strength to live for God. Don’t worry. God will give you what you need if you will just make the choice to live for him.
Verse to remember: “For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power, and everything is for his glory.” Romans 11:36
Question to ponder: Where in my daily routine can I become more aware of God’s glory?
Day 2 of the year down, or at least mostly. Last night I watched the final movie of LOTR trilogy – all 250 MINUTES OF IT! John and Mariah stayed up to kiss and flirt and talk even after my 3:40 bed time. And then of course, this morning, John and I had a talk about the whole relationship world – it’s tough when you have hormones AND common sense – sometimes they really conflict.
Lets see, Helen called me silly, mostly because she caught me with my pants down while she was dropping off laundry for me. I must admit that I feel silly about being so prone to such carnal desires.
I met with Eileen today and made another $65 tutoring. It started out with about 40 minutes of chatting about her recent preformance review. It’s nice to be able to reach a deeper level with her. I had intended to ask her if she was interested in attending Dreamnight, but chickened out so I feel a bit weak there.
Next went to see my brother at the Mental Health Unit (MHU). Every time I see him, it’s strange because I just don’t match him any longer, and he’s still drawn onto the blood connection. I don’t know how much of him is him, and how much is the drugs, and how much might be whatever medical condition he’s working with. This evening he revealed that he stole a jacket from the Nugget Outfitter, so I let him know of my perspective, and then left – mostly because I didn’t have a lot to say to him, other than that I disagreed with his choice to steal, and that it was illegal, and I hoped that he would make amends at some point.
Next, came home to get a bite to eat, and then run to the post office to mail off the Return of the King that someone had bought from me over ebay – my paypal account is getting nicely round. I’ll be getting a Digital Camera in no time flat.
Last night before going to bed, I picked up The Richest Man in Babylon as it was a suggested reading a while back – it’s about finances and the laws surrounding them. I read another chapter this morning.
This evening I read another chapter from Travelling Light about reducing worry in our lives. The core point that I picked up on was that God will support us when the time comes because he leads us (example of the father handling the details and distributing tickets at the appointed time, not too late, not too early).
I also read Genesis 3-5 and Matthew 2. Gen 3-5 talk about Eve being deceived and then God talking with them about that. It left off by leading the lineage into Noah’s time. Matt 2 was about Jesus’s birth and the 3 wise men coming to greet him, and then Herod (the king of the area) wanting to have Jesus killed.
Lastly I read the 2nd chapter/day of the Purpose Driven Life. It’s core subject was that I am not an accident, and that God has created me for His purpose.
Verse to remember: “I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.”