Well, it feels like it’s been a while since I last posted an entry, so I thought tonight would be a good opportunity to do so. It’s Sunday the 21st, and we’ve got a 2-day week at UAS before a break for the holidays.
Photos.
I hope to use the break to get some significant catch up done with my photos. I’ve got a few outlying projects that would be wonderful to get done with (sophie’s wedding, nick’s graduation, javier’s dancing, and bill’s holiday party). For some reason, I’m thinking there might be more too.
IE8b2.
I guess Internet Explorer has a new version available for download and in the other browser, I’m doing that now. I don’t really care for IE much, but I figured that it might be something to look back upon and realize, “oh, I was 28 years old when that product was out… my how things have changed.” Kinda like the way I recall Netscape Mozilla or whatever those first web browsers were called.
Listening.
Tonight Bill did a great webcast on the premise of listening; it’s so rare that we spend the time to actually listen to what is being said in conversation… it seems there are so many distractions that it’s easiest to just pick up “noise” rather than any real meaning or importance.
Car.
Weather has been quite cold lately, and in these cold snaps, my car just doesn’t like it… Right now, the driver’s side shocks/struts are frozen solid which means that every bump I roll over is not buffered at all… As John Pohl put it, it’s like “tobagganing over washboard on saran wrap.” A very potent picture, indeed.
Bonus Checks.
I’m not sure how this will work out, but bonus checks will hence-forth be handled through direct payment with Amway Global. It’s a good thing insomuch as we won’t have to do as much management of volume and the like, but I’m nervous because there is a stipulation indicating that you MUST have 50pv or more in retail client volume BEFORE you can receive a bonus. That will be a painful realization, but at the same time, a very good (and motivating) one.
Core.
I’ve been away from the bandwagon recently, though today felt good insomuch as I got back on the horse, as it were. I listened to a CD earlier today and also read from The Slight Edge. I realize there is more to be done, but I’m glad for the modest progress. Tomorrow will be a better day yet!
Done.
Okay, so my alarm is set for 6:30 tomorrow, so I figure I might as well get some sleep now while I can. I’m glad I wrote, and hope to be back more regularly to reflect upon my day, and heck, it’ll improve my typing skills too! 🙂
G’nite,
-cb
Those are the two topics I was thinking of writing about. Primarily I intended to write about pain or hurt this evening, and then I realized that the other day I had intended to write a bit about love… So now you get a truncated version of both.
Love.
Heather said she loves me, and frankly it brings tears to my eyes. I’m not sure what to make of it, as the whole experience of love and vulnerability scares me. I was hurt as a child, from my fathers absence to my own mistakes in past relationships, and I’m afraid that I might make some of the same mistakes I had in the past. I don’t want to cause pain, and I’m afraid that I have simply hidden reality rather than experiencing it. It’s much like that book “For Women Only” where men innately feel they are imposters, but I am afraid that it is so much deeper than that.
Pain.
Heather and I had some type (I’m not even sure) of thing this evening. I don’t know if it was her tone that I took offense to, or perhaps that I did something that she did not see my heart in. Either way, it’s a strained air between us. These don’t last, but it’s no fun having the pain exist. I feel accused and condemned for being myself, but I’m not sure if I have brought that criticism to myself through my actions towards heather.
Hurt.
My heart aches. I think it is at an absence of spiritual connection – I don’t feel the motivation or worth to pray. I get nervous that I am simply lip-syncing a prayer. The other day I found myself praying for a huge dream; one that scares me, and moves me, and gives my flesh motivation to do the work. I’m not sure that I see it yet, but it seems to come to focus slowly at times with my analytical approach.
Marriage.
More and more, day by day, person by person (almost), I get questioned, or commented about the prospect of Heather and I getting married. I despise the pressure, and would much rather retreat to a more protected land where I could think through things and come to an answer without the influence of peers who have no clue what they want in their life.
Alright, I’m going to get some sleep and awake with a new passion to maintain productivity through the morning and into the day. There is so much to be done in life, and I am the man to do it.
Have a good night!
So, as you likely noticed, I didn’t write yesterday, though I had a supremely eventful day.
It was the first time that I invited a crowd to my home for a Thanksgiving Feast.
We had 18 or so people, and it was a lot of fun. I got up at 6:30 and commenced with preparations – a shower and then onto cooking. By 9am the turkey was in the oven, and surprisingly the morning was relatively passive. (including the couple times we tripped the breaker for the circuit we were cooking on.) Also, Jason Bowes helped out with miscellaneous preparations, and by around 1:30 or 2, the first guest had arrived.
By 2:40, most all the attendees were packed into my living room, and everyone was either socializing, or busy trying to finalize the cooking. With the process of trying to cook everything to finish right at 3pm, it created a creshendo of energy as items needed to get in and out of the oven, in and out of boiling water and so forth. I was trying to orchestrate the chaos of people who didn’t know my house and at the same time cut a 20 pound turkey. It all worked out though. We had SO much food.
When it was all said and done, I think we had the following:
Main dishes:
Side Dishes:
Snack foods:
drinks
desserts
…and probably a few more things.
after everyone was stuffed and we had socialized for some time, we eventually watched the Run, Fatboy, Run movie – it was a good one about a gent who was pushing through walls in his life.
would I do it again? sure thing. Especially for heather. would I plan a little bit more? Maybe only to get more than 4 hours of sleep the night before.
we’ll see if we do it again at christmas-time…
Well, today was another busy one – I got a full day of work in, more shopping for Thanksgiving with Heather and Krista Koehn (here for fall 08 on exchange). It was entertaining, slightly less efficient, but we got the job done. Grabbed some items from Heather Swanson’s place and then gave rides to ultimate. Afterwards, Keith, Dave Job, Angela Hubbs, Heather, Elly Mauer (current roomie) & myself did a bunch of chopping, can opening, creating, and overall prepping for thanksgiving. With my legs throbbing a bit while I lie here, it feels like it’s been a good day. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.
i’m tired, so i bid you a fond farewell or whatever you might say at such junctures.
It twas indeed.
Today seemed to go by pretty quick again. Thank the good lord that he energized me to awake prior to my alarm so I could get some quality time into listening to a CD and mentally prepping for the day. I’m looking forward to the same tomorrow.
Work was pretty run-of-the-mill. Heather was out sick, Ward and I held down the fort. He’s got a new iPhone and so is quite jazzed about that.
After work, I had pickup. I guess Jason & family are dealing with some tough times (Josh ingested a bunch of medicine taking him to the hospital, and while there Jason had his wallet/checkbook stolen). We’re in interesting times that we come to these things in daylight, and public service locations like a hospital.
Did a bit more planning for Tday… It looks like the numbers are firming up, and we might have 20 or so coming over for food. It’ll be packed. It’ll be crazy. It’ll be fun. I have a hint of trepidity about the number of people and the amount of room that I have, but we’ll see how it works out. Maybe not everyone will show up at once? ha, yeah right.
Also had a chance to sit down briefly with Bill and chat about client slideshows and how to work on developing clients. I’m really growing in the process of opening my mouth and allowing stuff to come out. I look forward to being a bit stronger with it, but I’m also pleased with where I’m at and headed.
Chatted with Bill Abbott again today about the christmas dinner event. Need to do some price spec’ing over the weekend for him. Not sure how I’ll do it… maybe Dave Gelotte can be of assistance to me… The want to minimize corporate’s expense, but still have the option there for folks who are interested. Should prove to be a fun experience.
alright, i’m gonna lay down to sleep (after checking the alarm and saying a prayer).
thanks for listening, as always.
-cb
Another day done.
Today, my business acumen was a bit on the lessened side of things. Here are some of the highlights of the day:
And now, i’m pretty much en route to bed.
Heather and I have had some sort of unrestful air between us the past couple of days. I presume that we as a couple are okay, and that she’s simply frustrated with something but not sharing such; I think I could stand to grow in my ability to face OSM (oh stuff moments) and ask her about what’s up, but for now, i’m keeping my head down, and I’m not quite sure why. maybe more progress on that tomorrow.
speaking of tomorrow, maybe i’ll do some shopping, and hopefully have a better idea of numbers for thanksgiving dinner!
sweet dreams to me!
Not sure what to journal about tonight, so I figure I’ll just start and see where it goes.
Saturday was a good day of getting up early, getting some productive time in and finishing off with some down time with Heather.
I took roughly 1700 shots of the Soul Street Dance group that was in town with Juneau Arts & Humanities Council, so we’ll see where those go. I think my more proud moment of the evening was offering some Rhodiola to the crew prior to their going on stage. Naturally their reviews of the evening were great in spite of various technical problems.
I’m most hopeful that I’ll be getting an email soon of client registration & ordering!
The change of Quixtar/Amway Global has me a bit nervous, but the anxiety is bound to be a positive thing – they’ll be changing over to auto-deposit bonus payment, which means that in order to have a bonus, we have to have at least 50 pv of client volume in the month. Not a big deal on one hand, but it makes client successes that much more valuable.
Today was a laid back sorta day – lots of relaxing, and generally not feeling altogether prodcutive – I watched several episodes of Heroes with Heather, and then attended the webcasts with Bill. Oh how I long to be a double eagle! I seek to be strong, to commit to great things and to achieve them!
It’s thanksgiving week – Turkey Day is on Thursday; Heather and I will spend the time together cooking, and it sounds like Jason will chip in to assist even. Should be a good time.
One nice thing about the week is that it’s only a three day week at work.
I want to develop clients. I want to grow my business. I want to learn to earn support and business from others because of the value of what I offer!
Alright, that’s enough for now. I’m gonna head to sleep so that I can get up and get moving tomorrow morning. I expect that I’ll be waking up before my alarm goes off, and at that, I’ll be getting up and moving even without the added encouragement from the alarm!
g’nite.
Okay, maybe it’s not anger… maybe it’s more of an unrest or frustration that is just beneath the surface of my life…
I think about how all it takes to do great things is to take action (not even good action) in the direction that I want to go, and if I’m consistent with it, I’ll achieve whatever goal I might have.
I sit hear and type while Heather lays town to sleep next to me. It’s a Friday evening, and she’s restless with discomfort of being sick over the past few days, and trying to get some sleep to recharge for the weekend. Her breathing is heavy, thick almost, with congestion. I don’t think I’ve been anything but cross over the past few days, and I can’t really place why. It’s not that I’m upset with her… Perhaps it’s just myself… not being as productive as I would like to be. I feel frustrated by silly little things, like her breathing, and not really understanding what pain exists in my life that contributes to this sliver under my nail.
Midnight, and Bill had another plan tonight. 3 guests, all Oscar’s, I believe. I attended, with suit, with downline, but no new faces. It’s high time to get active, to expose this model to others, to thrive in helping other people achieve their goals – whether it be saving money or doing amazing things in the next few years to revolutionize their entire lives and their families future to come.
Activities for tomorrow are not planned to any degree other than a set activity of watching a cool dance performance in the evening. I want to make some progress with Britteny’s wedding album – 30’ish pages, with a variety of photos. I want to make some progress with Sophie’s photos, just to get them in a final place. I have many photo projects to finish… Time to get some done.
Further, I want to progress my business; calls to downline, offering my assistance, sharing my love, casting a vision of the future in spite of this uncertain economic time. I want to grow my business, making calls to people who have not yet seen the business model – as a goal to sit down and see the model. To grow my clientelle, reaching out to people’s needs – whether that be a superior product or just the benefit of Airline Miles. It’s a matter of reaching out and building relationships. Calling those people I haven’t called yet. Those people who may not yet be close friends. It’s about building others and helping them see the greatness in themselves. It’s about seeing the greatness with me.
Well, it’s midnight, and I’ll be getting up early to pursue some of these lofty plans towards various points of success. Staying true to my dreams will pay off in the end. I will (and am) breaking through those paper walls that exist in my life to find my freedom, prosperity and joy on the other side.
Well, I’m posting this a bit earlier tonight with thoughts that I might go to bed at a semi-reasonable hour and then get up early’ish and maybe even ride my bike to work.
I titled this post “Keep Trying” for the sheer reason that despite the best laid plans, they don’t always go as you might hope. I had such grand aspirations to make each moment count, to value the precious present throughout the day, and frankly, I’m just feeling a bit tired. Sadly I was a bit muted to Heather – I don’t know if it is from tired’ness, or that I had some less-than-positive experiences… nothing big, so I’m guessing it’s the sleep. I don’t recall anything inparticular that I might be misinterpreting.
So, I guess the message to mysefl today is simply to stay the course. There’s so much in life to do, and we can’t have it all, so just work towards having as much life as you can find! 🙂
Well, maybe I’ll post again later with more details from my day, or, I might just sleep.
Till later, keep trying.
-cb
I had a good (and long) talk with Bill this evening… It ranged from products, to values, to business, and so forth.
I think the most significant thing I took away was some dialog we had regarding a recent observation that he made suggesting that I might want to look at myself to make sure that I’m as generous as I would like to be (aka not “stingy”). It’s been something that I’ve been grinding on for some time now, and it was nice to chat some to ask clarifying questions about.
I guess the crux of the issue is that it all is within the spirit. It’s not so much the dollar amount, or the dynamics of the interaction, as it is that I want to give the other person the better part of the deal… To give them the better seat at the table, as John Maxwell puts it.
Bill was reminded of a story that I think of regularly… of Brad Duncan visiting Ron Puryears house and finding a Mercedes covered in boxes, and generally going unused. It still had the sale stickers on it in fact. As the story progressed, Brad found out that Ron paid full retail for the car and of course reacted vehemently claiming that was the wrong choice and that he could have saved money. As it turns out, Ron had a different view… “Listen here, young man. I live in this community, I care about my neighbors and friends. If you can’t afford to pay the retail cost, then you have no business buying it in the first place!” (of course, this is paraphrased, but it brings up a good point… We’re here to bless others, not to horde things for ourselves. The Lord is uniquely concerned with our well being, and if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, than who are we to think that were are outside of his watchful eye.
I really liked some of the clarifying and repurposing questions that Bill asked throughout the talk:
So, if the spirit is really one of generosity, what actions will exist? Who do I know who I consider to have a generous spirit? Toby Coate? Pat Shier? Others?
…Let’s see… what else can I chat about?
Oh, regarding business development, (mostly through Heather’s prompting) I gave Christine (& Tim) a couple cans of XS for the vitamin B & folic acid goodness. She seemed enthused, and I’m really hoping for her sake that it helps to meet the needs… Energy and nutrition. Stress is a factor for her at her work place, and my heart goes out to their family while they are expecting a child soon.
Well, I’m thinking that some sleep would do me well. Tomorrow I aim to be the best me I can be. To give to others without concern for what I might receive in return. To be a man of integrity, worth, value, and love; showering generosity to all whom I come in contact with. I will be an excellent human being, giving the benefit of the doubt to people who I feel wrong me.
G’nite!
-cb