Ross & Leslie Hall Emerald Rally woke me up early this morning on my new Clock CD Alarm that I got over the break – it was nice to have the humor to start the day.

Read ~15 minutes (one chapter) of Richest Man in Babylon. It continued with the parable (though it started out otherwise) talking about luck, and that chance favors the prepared mind – AKA, the non-procrastinator. Luck finds the man who takes the opportunity. But still this is tempered with the reality that not all opportunities are stacked in your direction (such as gambling events – they’re in business to take your money…)

Genesis 8-10 was about Noah after the flood – coming out of the arc, and then having his family repopulate the earth (lineage fun.)

Matthew 4 first talks of Satan tempting Jesus in the desert, and how Jesus was able to respond with poise and grace (not judging even) by quoting scripture. After that tempting, Jesus went about ministering to people, healing many, many people. [thought: if Jesus was able to heal wrongs of that day through his touch and presence, I wonder how many people are healed miraculously today!?] As he was ministering, he called four fisherman to follow Him – and they just came, no debate, no discussion. Would I have the strength and confidence to do that?

Travelling Light used the parable of attending a cookie potluck (you bring a plate, you can leave with the same number of cookies you brought) to illustrate how even if you don’t know how to cook, you’ll be allowed into the party by the grace of another. God does this for us in the great party of eternity. We just have to be willing to accept it.

Now the chapter was named, A Heavenly Exchange: The Burden of Guilt, so I can only assume that the intended purpose is to reveal that our guilt of life need not be carried with us through life and on to eternity. Perhaps it was just to share the importance of trusting in God as “he leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”

The Purpose Driven Life shared that we people are only here in this life for but a moment in comparison with the reality of eternity (where we’ll all go next). I liked the chapter to be able to take the time to help put things in perspective, even if only for the moment of reading.

Some of the phrases from the chapter were quite poingnant:

* “When you fully comprehend that there is more to life than just here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will begin to live differently. You will start living in light of eternity, and that will color how you handle every relationship, task, and circumstance.”

* “The closer you live to God, the smaller everything else appears.”

* “Every act of our lives strikes some chord that will vibrate in eternity.” (<-- this one can be both scary and exciting... I best get choosing the exciting things!) Verse to remember: “This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever.” (1 John 2:17 NLT)

Monday the 3rd – that’s 3 days in a row. I think I’m starting this out pretty good. I hope to take a bit of time today to plan out what I expect my week to look like, and to get a bit of scheduling done so that I can be assured that I’ll get my reading done, and still have time for the other things that I have planned (like Ultimate tonight.)

Last night Helen and I had another “talk”. It went as usual, spending long enough talking about what we don’t really think is a good idea, until we’le weak enough that we just go ahead and do it. I recognize that I am pretty weak – the control that I have of my hormones is relatively slim. I wonder what I can do to reinforce my strengths? I know that it’s all about changing the thoughts that I have, but even that at times can seem daunting.

I sold the Linksys PC card today, listed the USB-Ethernet adapters on Amazon, and set up the WUSB11 for sale on ebay. I’m getting pretty close that I can purchase the camera soon. Good times. 🙂

This morning I listened to the Hawkins and Heads leadership tape. Yesterday was the Rod & Rowena Jao Rally.

Reading Notes:

The Purpose Driven Life Day 3: What drives your life? This chapter did a good thin in asking the question of what the driving force in your life is – whether it’s failure forming negatives (fear, guilt, anger, materialism, or the need for approval) or Purpose driven (knowing your purpose provides: meaning in life, simplification in life, focus in life, motivates your life, and prepares you for eternity. (p. 29, “…one key to failure is to try to please everyone.”; p. 30, “…No man can serve two masters.”)

Scriptures to look up:

* Jeremiah 29:11

* Ephesians 3:20

Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

Ephesians 3:20 (paraphrased from “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,”) to “God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think!” Sweet!

The Richest Man in Babylon outlined seven steps to cure a empty purse. They are:

1) Start thy purse to fattening; Save 10% of your income. You won’t miss it because if it was empty before, it meant that you didn’t have enough, and if you save 10%, you still won’t have enough, but you’ll begin your legacy.

2) Control thy expenditures; Budget your money so that you can pay for the needed expenditures, and to know how much you have available for the desired expenditures. Don’t you dare spend more than you earn!

3) Make thy gold multiply; Use compounding interest scenarios. Offer the money to lenders who pay you a rent for holding your money (like the money market account that I have). Have continuing contribution too for more effectivity!

4) Guard thy treasures from loss; Invest only in safe places. Don’t make risky investments, even with friends. Counsel with people who know more about finances than yourself by proof of their results, not credentials. Let their wisdom protect your treasure from unwise investments.

5) Make of thy dwelling a profitable investment; AKA: buy your own home. It talks about allowing for your wife to be able to make a home of her residence, rather than just inhabiting the place. As of yet, I don’t have a wife, and I think that it may be alright to not take this step yet. Perhaps it would be good to counsel on the matter.

6) Insure a future income; Build your business! Have an income stream! It talked about having investments that generate income, and then taking that newly generated income to be able to reinvest it for the future – not to pull it out and waste it. Remember: this is a long term process for the future, not for the pleasures of now.

7) Increase thy ability to earn; Cultivate your skills and knowledge “…to so act as to respect thyself. Thereby shalt thou acquire confidence in thyself to achieve thy carefully considered desires.”

Travelling Light talked about the sensation of a jungle, and explained how many people feel afraid, anxious and hesitant in the world today, because they are without skills or tools of navigating the jungle. It then proceeded to assail those fears by Jesus’s presence to lead you out. You say, “Where’s the trail? Where are we going?” He says, “Follow me, I am the way.”

Genesis 6-7 recalled Noah’s process of being called to build the Arc, through the earth’s flooding. I found it interesting that his family was able to go along as well – I suppose it’s an example of when the leadership is right, the family is right.

Matthew 3 was about Jesus’ baptism. John felt unworthy, yet still went ahead as requested, because he was requested. It was a humbling experience where he likly realized more clearly the need for baptism if even Jesus needed it “to fulfill all righteousness.”

Day 2 of the year down, or at least mostly. Last night I watched the final movie of LOTR trilogy – all 250 MINUTES OF IT! John and Mariah stayed up to kiss and flirt and talk even after my 3:40 bed time. And then of course, this morning, John and I had a talk about the whole relationship world – it’s tough when you have hormones AND common sense – sometimes they really conflict.

Lets see, Helen called me silly, mostly because she caught me with my pants down while she was dropping off laundry for me. I must admit that I feel silly about being so prone to such carnal desires.

I met with Eileen today and made another $65 tutoring. It started out with about 40 minutes of chatting about her recent preformance review. It’s nice to be able to reach a deeper level with her. I had intended to ask her if she was interested in attending Dreamnight, but chickened out so I feel a bit weak there.

Next went to see my brother at the Mental Health Unit (MHU). Every time I see him, it’s strange because I just don’t match him any longer, and he’s still drawn onto the blood connection. I don’t know how much of him is him, and how much is the drugs, and how much might be whatever medical condition he’s working with. This evening he revealed that he stole a jacket from the Nugget Outfitter, so I let him know of my perspective, and then left – mostly because I didn’t have a lot to say to him, other than that I disagreed with his choice to steal, and that it was illegal, and I hoped that he would make amends at some point.

Next, came home to get a bite to eat, and then run to the post office to mail off the Return of the King that someone had bought from me over ebay – my paypal account is getting nicely round. I’ll be getting a Digital Camera in no time flat.

Last night before going to bed, I picked up The Richest Man in Babylon as it was a suggested reading a while back – it’s about finances and the laws surrounding them. I read another chapter this morning.

This evening I read another chapter from Travelling Light about reducing worry in our lives. The core point that I picked up on was that God will support us when the time comes because he leads us (example of the father handling the details and distributing tickets at the appointed time, not too late, not too early).

I also read Genesis 3-5 and Matthew 2. Gen 3-5 talk about Eve being deceived and then God talking with them about that. It left off by leading the lineage into Noah’s time. Matt 2 was about Jesus’s birth and the 3 wise men coming to greet him, and then Herod (the king of the area) wanting to have Jesus killed.

Lastly I read the 2nd chapter/day of the Purpose Driven Life. It’s core subject was that I am not an accident, and that God has created me for His purpose.

Verse to remember: “I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.”

Well, it is January first and today has been a good one. Last night I went to bed early (3:00 am) so that I could get up this morning and do some serious thinking on my mission & values. It was a good time.

I followed the PlanPlus tools through the process of creating a mission statement and a mission journey and a value statement, and then went to brunch at Mi Casa to look over my notes and have some quiet time eating food. It turned out that I was easily distracted from my efforts because of the next booth’s comments. It seemed that two older women were talking about the implications of alcohol in youth today, and not in a “that’s not so good” perspective either – they were talking about how their alcohol habits had been strong, but they were able to stay out of bad situations like date rape, and that girls these days (as well as boys) to some extent are at fault for the challenges that they both endure. It was interesting to overhear.

After brunch, I came back home to find that someone had purchased the WMP-11 (wireless equipt.) through ebay, so I got that packaged and dropped in the mail, stopped by Tommy’s to give him his gift of Wild at Heart and The Dream Giver, and then came home for a nap. After the nap, I listened to Brad Duncan’s Leadership talk while looking through dream photo cutouts in my binders.

Next, onto reading.

I plan to read the entirety of the bible this year, so I’ll be making notes as I go. Today’s reading will be Gen 1-2, & Matthew 1.

Also, I read Chapter 5 of Travelling Light – it talked about getting rest as part of life to be more productive.

Finally, I read the first (of 40) day/chapter of The Purpose Driven Life. It talked about how my purpose is not so much mine, as it is God’s, bestowed to me. He has already created it, and it is up to me to have it revealed to me, and then to apply it.

Verse to remember: “Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” Colossians 1:16b (Msg)

Chapter 1: The Lens Principle

1. If asked to write a statement describing human nature and people in general, what would you say? Would you describe your philosophy as optimistic, skeptical, tentative, detached, etc.? What does your personal philosophy concerning others say about you?

I feel that on the whole, people are good. They desire to be good, do right, and achieve higher levels in their world. I feel that no man is a complete work; he is always growing and changing through his experiences, and that if chosen wisely, he can accomplish anything. My perspective is optimistic almost to a fault because I can tend to push people to new levels without receiving agreement from the individual that they want to go there. My philosophy indicates that I feel that I can become anything I desire with the right input. I feel that I am in my core, a good person – even though I sometimes struggle with my choices.

2. Would you describe your attitude as generally positive or negative? Do you see your attitude as an asset or a liability? What could you do to improve your attitude?

Generally, I see my attitude as positive. I choose to look for the positive traits to an experience or circumstance, and frequently can find them. As such, I find my attitude to be an asset. With the positive outlook, people enjoy my company, and I am subsequently offered an opportunity to help change their view about the event. A way that I could improve my outlook is to be more consistent with my enthusiasm (I feel that enthusiasm is part of an attitude.) If I were to do so, I would find myself gravitating towards my desired results more quickly than without the consistency.

3. Think back to your childhood. What experiences have especially marked you as an individual? Did they inspire you to trust or mistrust people? How has that outlook colored your relationships as an adult? If it has negatively affected your relationships, what positive experiences can you pursue to create a new, more positive history?

There are several experiences that have colored my perspective towards others. Growing up with the World Wide Dream Builders training organization has exposed me to resources to identify successful characteristics that I might pursue to accomplish my goals. I recall the Tom Miller Seminar teaching me to be not so critical of my perspective of an event with someone, but to slow down and consider options of interpretation. These things have positively affected my outlook of people, and continue to do so.

4. Do you agree with the statement that the difference between who you are today and who you will be in five years will be the people you spend time with and the books you read? What other factors do you believe to be equally (or more) important?

I do believe that to a very large extent. Input creates thoughts, thoughts create words, which in turn creates action, which leads to habit, character and destiny. Changing your input changes your output. Another important element that I would add is that a person must choose to change their input. As Neo says in the Matrix, the problem is choice.

5. Think about the personal qualities you would like to cultivate. List them. Now create a plan for growth to develop those qualities. First dedicate time on your calendar with people who possess the qualities you desire. Second select a book a month to read to help you grow.

Boundless enthusiasm. Strong self awareness. Immense self love. Intense self discipline. Bulldog-like consistency.

People that can elevate these things for me: Sahar Gorbanpour, Tina Rice, Lisa Miles, Barbara Hyde, Paul Kraft, Michael Ciri, Bill Wildes, & Bill Peters.

Books that can assist in the improvement of these traits: Enthusiasm Makes A Difference, Created for Excellence, The Go-Getter, Self-Love, & University of Success.

July 15, 2004

Yep, it’s been another long delay since my last entry.

I’m sitting at the waffle shop right now, after just spending a nice evening of taking some photos out the road near tee harbor, as well as at the shrine.

Something sits heavy on my heart right now, though I can’t precisely identify what it is. While at the shrine I went to “The Gap” there I had a moment of prayer that was essentially me asking for help with cleaning up my life and fixing my heart. More and more I recognize that I am able to make fiends and be close, and then using that ability, get closer to someone than I really need to be. Just since Helen and I have broken up, Heidi, Heather, Helen… yeah, I need to figure things out.

I feel somewhat negligent towards my business right now, and that lends it’s own source of guilt, my relationships with women lend to feeling guilty, there is so much that I feel guilty about. I would love to release that, to feel free from any burden, to feel that people aren’t judging of my actions. Perhaps it’s my heart and desires that have to change, perhaps its my actions. How do I get out of my present situation?

Yep, it’s been another long delay since my last entry.

I’m sitting at the waffle shop right now, after just spending a nice evening of taking some photos out the road near tee harbor, as well as at the shrine.

Something sits heavy on my heart right now, though I can’t precisely identify what it is. While at the shrine I went to “The Gap” there I had a moment of prayer that was essentially me asking for help with cleaning up my life and fixing my heart. More and more I recognize that I am able to make fiends and be close, and then using that ability, get closer to someone than I really need to be. Just since Helen and I have broken up, Heidi, Heather, Helen… yeah, I need to figure things out. Read the rest of this entry »

June 30, 2004

Yikes, it’s been a while since I last posted.

Yup, Helen and I are still broken up.

Breadloaf is on campus, so that means lots of hikes (I have 3 planned this weekend).

Heather Eastaugh and I got a bit closer than I would have liked to (we kissed) after an evening of chatting. My feeling is that she’s been through lots of trauma, and though I suppose I’m willing to be a friend, I don’t want to wind up dating someone with those kinds of challenges (sexual/physical/emotional abuse.)

Helen and I need to figure out how to be apart. She’s looking for support from me, though I can’t really offer it because we’re supposed to be broken up. There’s still a middle ground available somewhere I hope. I guess it could all be resolved with a “I just can’t see you any longer, let’s take a break” talk…

I just had my Festiva’s muffler fixed yesterday. It’s all nice and quiet now. I like it.

That’s all I really have for the moment. I’ll try to do these more often.

Yikes, it’s been a while since I last posted.

Yup, Helen and I are still broken up.

Breadloaf is on campus, so that means lots of hikes (I have 3 planned this weekend).

Heather Eastaugh and I got a bit closer than I would have liked to (we kissed) after an evening of chatting. My feeling is that she’s been through lots of trauma, and though I suppose I’m willing to be a friend, I don’t want to wind up dating someone with those kinds of challenges (sexual/physical/emotional abuse.)

Helen and I need to figure out how to be apart. She’s looking for support from me, though I can’t really offer it because we’re supposed to be broken up. There’s still a middle ground available somewhere I hope. I guess it could all be resolved with a “I just can’t see you any longer, let’s take a break” talk…

I just had my Festiva’s muffler fixed yesterday. It’s all nice and quiet now. I like it.

That’s all I really have for the moment. I’ll try to do these more often.

Introduction

This book was written with a 40 day reading format – 40 chapters to move through and to learn from. Much like the 40 day trial period used throughout scripture.

Recognize the value of interacting with the material, rather than simply glossing over an issue.

Concerning the ‘Verse to Remember’ sections at the end of each chapter: “If you really want to improve your life, memorizing Scripture may be the most important habit you can begin.”

Be sure to write your answers to the questions in the margin – feel free to make comments. It personalizes your reading, and helps you with retention. If you have the ability to share it with others, by all means, do!

I have committed to reading a chapter a day for the next 40 days. I will finish the program and get a better sense for the purpose that God has for my life!

Section 1 – What on Earth Am I Here For?

Day 1 – It All Starts with God

My purpose is not really mine at all – it is Gods purpose for my life. It has been conceived of before I came into existence, and is independent of my will or desire. Take note that whenever hunting for a passion or purpose based on my desires, I discover more confusion than clarity.

“You were made by God and for God – and until you understand that, life will never make sense.”

“Being successful and fulfilling your life’s purpose are not at all the same issue!”

“The Bible says, ‘Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.” (Matt 16:25)

“You didn’t create youself, so there is no way you can tell yourself what you were created for! If I handed you an invention you had never seen before, you wouldn’t know it’s purpose, and the invention itself wouldn’t be able to tell you either. Only the creator or the owner’s manual could reveal its purpose.”

“Fortunately, there is an alternative to speculation about the meaning and purpose of life. It’s revelation. We can turn to what God has revealed about life in his Word. The easiest way to discover the purpose of an invention is to ask the creator of it. The same is true for discovering your life’s purpose: Ask God.
God has not left us in the dark to wonder and guess. He has clearly revealed his five purposes for our lives through the Bible.”

“The Bible says, “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.” (Eph 1:1)

That verse shows us the following:

1. You discover your identity and purpose through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

2. God was thinking of you long before you every thought about him. His purpose for your life predates your conception. He planned it before you existed, without your input! You may choose your career, your spouse, and many other things, but you don’t get to choose your purpose. [it’s revealed to you!]

3. The purpose of your life fits into a much larger, cosmic purpose that God has designed for eternity.

Verse to Remember: “Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” Colossians 1:16b (msg)

Question to Consider: In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself? (A: Stay close to scripture and prayer, and good mental input. Might be good to develop visual reminders.)

Day 2 – You Are Not an Accident

“God prescribed every single detail of your body. He deliberately chose your race, the color of your skin, you hair, and every other feature. He custom-made your body just the way He wanted it. He also determined the naturally talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality.” My thought: Sweet! So what would He like to have me do with this set of attributes?

“Because God made you for a reason, he also decided when” and where and into what situation I would live in. He even decided the duration of my life. And get this – the IMPACT of my life! He specifically chose my parents, and my purpose to accomplish His will.

“There is a God who made you for a reason, and your life has profound meaning! We discover that meaning and purpose only when we make God the reference point of our lives.”

Verse to remember: “I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.” Isiah 44:2 (cev)

Question to Consider: Knowing that God uniquely created me, what areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept? (A: Potentially my fathers death, the dysfunction of my family that I have learned from…)

Day 3 – What Drives Your Life?