Asking the hard questions, from The 4-Hour Workweek:
At least three times per day at cheduled times, he had to ask himself the following question:
Am I being productive or just active?
An alternative to the above question reads as:
Am I inventing things to do to avoid the important?
It’s about eliminating all of the activities we use as crutches and begin to focus on demonstrating results instead of showing dedication (which is often just meaningless work in disguise). We’re going to be ruthless and cut the fat.
I know with certain that much of my day is at present loaded with fillers. Today I will do better towards being ruthless with my time and effective with my efforts.
Today at church, there was a fellow who happened to be a missionary overseas, first within Indonesia, and now in Belgium. It must be an interesting life to live… I wonder about how one develops their living expenses and the like, but without getting too caught up in the details, I thought I would make a quick posting about the message he left with us.
Though it was a winding and interesting introduction which gave me the impression that he was largely looking at other christians as not good enough or rebirthed enough or something, he eventually landed on the premise that what we need to pursue as Christians and living our walk was simply to breath into others with compassion. He brought a great perspective of using Jesus’s example on earth as a mechanism to articulate how Christ never was demeaning or judging of people at his command; that he was a servant leader and truly compassionate towards their plight.
Christ is compassionate, and as we also work to be compassionate, we show another side to the world. Too many people judge. Too many people live without compassion to their friends, families and loved ones. Too many people live without compassion to the strangers and folks who they do not know well. The live without the love the Christ gave for us.
An interesting thought… How can one (myself) be more compassionate in daily activities? Rather than seeing someone as running down the wrong road, climbing a fruitless ladder, why not see them through eyes of compassion and joy in who they are, who they are created to be, and who they were created by. Having compassion for their present place in the journey empowers and exposes others to a love which we all seek out.
So yeah, let’s put it on thick with the trowel of the spirit: compassion with a double portion, spilling over into the lives of those we come in contact with. Heck, even insomuch that we can be compassionate to ourselves and our closest loved ones.
Rather than Timelining, Mr. 4-hr Workweek man recommends seeking excitement and creating a dreamline to help spur you to action. No holds barred, what would you do if there were no way you could fail? If you were 10 times smarter than the rest of the world?
Having (all paid for in cash)
Being
Doing
I’m sure there’s more to come, but this has been a good exercise to expand my thoughts on things that excite me. It’s as he says: happiness is found in excitement, despair in boredom.
How do you help people? Should you help them? How do you encourage people to grow themselves?
When other people ask those questions about me, how would I hope they respond? Should I tell them to continue pressing on? Should I tell them to give up hope? Push harder? Be gentler? What tactic works best to create the best instance of me?
When other people come into my life and find themselves sharing their load and burdens with me, what’s the best way I can handle the situation? I know that the best vehicle and tools that I have ever seen are to be found with worldwide and amway global. There is no close second. If I know that, why do I continue to hold back from reaching out to those I don’t know (or even those I do) to help encourage them to become better and more, and to abandon their present path, even though they cling to it from familiarity.
I just finished sitting with Sterling and Alex who relayed their concerns and challenges about a variety of topics, and the thing I kept thinking was simply that Bill had chatted with me yesterday very simply about the “Power of Association”.
I am destined for greatness. I am capable beyond all understanding. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Who am I to not be great? God has made me, and he done good.
And here I sit, late into the evening, and wondering still about my purpose; concerned at the divergence of purity and dilution. Do I keep on the straight and narrow, or do I venture off into the weeds and vines and get caught up with all that the Lord has left out of his picture. I know that He wants the best for me, and I want that too. It’s a trying experience to be so worldly, and to know that I’m destined for more. It leads people to guilt, not to lay down in His presence.
So again, I ask what shall I do with this hand I’m dealt. I live a moderately functional life, I know that I can have more, and I dearly want those I love and care about to want more for their lives too.
I want to be proud of the man that I am, and where I am going. If I sit quietly aside and watch my life head nowhere in particular, I’m left with the twang of pain and remorse and regret from the lack of action. Bedsores in life. I want to be a man who strives valiantly towards a greater good. To free the captives, to free my wife, to free others who want more out of life. Freedom Enterprises. Corny? Important.
And now we get close to 1am, and I’m still here typing. For some reason I’ve been thinking furiously and want to know that I’m a good man. My absence from work today was simply to hopefully recharge my spiritual batteries and to make an effort to fight the good fight. I spent 4 hours reviewing various worldwide talks from Maxwell, Tsika, and more and yet my heart still needs a burst of love and support from those I lean upon for love. I think I’ll just crawl into bed and cuddle with my wife and quietly wish for the strength to step out on faith and do the terrifying so that I can give her what she so desperately deserves.
So, for me, good night. For you, good day. And for all, good luck.
With love, sorrow, hope and more,
-Cody
From the 4-hour work week book, page 46.
Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you are considering. What doubt fears, and “what-ifs” pop up as you consider the big changes you can – or need – to make? Envision them in painstaking detail. Would it be the end of your life? What would be the permanent impact, if any, on a scale of 1-10? Are these things really permanent? How likely do you think it is that they would actually happen?
The worst that could happen is that I lose all of the important relationships in my life. First and foremost, it would be Heather and Bill. Financially, I’d be drained, if not in debt, and I would have no means to reproduce success. Emotionally? My self image and self esteem would be demolished. I would be without hope. How likely? Not very. Permanent? Not likely. Spiritually I would be separated and attacked.
What steps could you take to repair the damage or get things back on the upswing even if temporarily? Chances are, it’s easier than you imagine. How could you get things back under control?
More than likely it’s simply a matter of digging in deeply and focusing intensely on personal development and looking for ways to love others and serve them, without compensation.
What are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more probable scenarios? Now that you’ve defined the nightmare, what are the more probable or definite positive outcomes, whether internal (confidence, self-esteem, etc.) or external? What would the impact of these more-likley outcomes be on a scale of 1-10? How likely is it that you could produce at least a moderately good outcome? Have less intelligent people done this before and pulled it off?
It’s all conjecture, of course, but I really don’t foresee significant problems with the development of myself and my company. There really is nothing better suited to compose a well under girded company while being actively involved in other things. It seems that the challenge is mostly involved with balancing or prioritizing the business plan that can better achieve the results of relational and financial success.
If you were fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control? Imagine this scenario and run through questions 1-3 above. If you quit your job to test other options, how could you later get back on the same career track if you absolutely had to?
If I was fired, I would be able to live for several months without having to make an income. It would require a constricted lifestyle, mostly with regards to extraneous expenses. Food would no longer be used for feeding but fueling, and being intensely focused on the improvement of our situation.
What are you putting off out of fear? Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do. That phone call, that conversation, whatever the action might be – it is fear of the unknown outcomes that prevents us from doing what we need to do. Define the worst case, accept it, and do it. I’ll repeat something that you might consider tattooing on your forehead: What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. As I have heard said, a person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have. Resolve to do one thing every day that you fear. I got into this habit by attempting to contact celebrities and famous businesspeople for advice.
Everything great is being put off out of fear of growth and changing. I want to be comfortable with people, willing to share with them a new concept beyond their current framework, that exposes me to to the real but intangible risk of being critiqued for my non-standard efforts. People could call me soapy, they could ask me questions I don’t know the answer to, or they can give me a look of disdain or disapproval. I want to know that I am worthy, and in pursuit of a model that helps me to prove it, it stands to reason that folks might not see my energies as a worthy effort because of their own expectations that a job is the appropriate path.
What is it costing you – financially, emotionally, and physically – to postpone action? Don’t only evaluate the potential downside of action. It is equally important to measure the atrocious cost of inaction. If you don’t pursue those things that excite you, where will you be in one year, five years, and ten years? How will you feel having allowed circumstance to impose itself upon you and having allowed ten more years of your finite life to pass doing what you know will not fulfill you? If you telescope out 10 years and know with 100% certainty that it is a path of disappointment and regret, and if we define risk as “the likelihood of an irreversible negative outcome,” inaction is the greatest risk of all.
Financially: millions. In comparison with where I’ll end up, and how much more quickly I could be there through action in the present, there are literally millions on the line. I’ve been working at UAS for 10 years, made somewhere near a quarter of a million dollars, and yet had I built my company at first crack, I would have a residualized six digit income. By this time, it’s highly likely that I’ve kissed away more than just a single million. Sobering thought.
Emotionally: I’ve dealt with 10 years of self-doubt and critique. Inaction will only bring another 10 years more. My self worth and self love will continue to fade at my lack of “success” towards my goal of freedom, and it will effect my health both emotional and physical.
Phyiscally: as mentioned above, a lesser self image, and less available time to be in shape, I will only be fatter, more lethargic, prone to other health issues, and distress from the strain on my relationships. Naturally, the slight edge will have continued to stretch me in one direction or another. Furthermore, regarding physicality, I will be doomed to continue in the market of renting, never owning, or in a debt laden situation where my belongings are either low-quality, or not even owned by myself (aka, severe debt.)
What are you waiting for? If you cannot answer this without resorting to the previously rejected concept of good timing, the answer is simple: You’re afraid, just like the rest of the world. Measure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps, and develop the most important habit of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.
Yup, it’s pretty straightforward, and largely articulated above. I have fear, of people, of myself, of my light. I fear rejection, I fear unacceptance, and at times, looking myself in the mirror.
Action is really the only option; inaction simply provides more of the same, more of the pain, and more of mediocrity.
I’ve been married for nearly 5 months, and while I’ve been able to keep away from other women in person, I notice my heart sometimes feels deceptive to my goal of faithfulness to my wife.
I love her deeply, and even though we experience challenges with communication or other things, I’m still deeply committed to making her life wonderful.
Lately, when we’ve had a bit of tension in our relationship, I see my acumen for focus on her as my one-and-only to be clouded. The other day there was an exchange with a gal at work which was more than suggestive. While I don’t think I have the capacity to follow through with such things, it makes me nervous that my wife isn’t the one constantly at the forefront of my mind.
It therefore becomes paramount for me to engage in a lifestyle that supports a long and well built relationship. To date, the most significant time that we’ve shared in pursuit of one another was during our honeymoon, after a week or more, when we were still in close quarters with the Wildes.
We were strongly sexed and excited to be intimate and close with oneanother. Now, I’m seeing my brain navigate toward other options including, but not limited to pornography and even a past fling and the fact that it would be nearly impossible for Heather to know that I was an adulterous spouse.
Fortunately, I don’t think I could keep quiet about such a dynamic in our relationship… and for that reason, I don’t think that I could follow through with such an action because I want to be transparent with my wife.
Well, she’s about done with the stuff on her list, so I’ll wrap this up. As much as I am excited at the thought of an illicit affair, I’m stoked to love my wife more deeply each day, week, month and year into the future.
We (I) will learn to be more faithful, less distracted and a better husband all around.
I love you Heather.
I’m sorry for my struggles, as I know that they pain you.
Lord, I’m ready to be taken over and directed to sure footing and safe travels. Help me to be the Husband you wish me to be for Heather, and to enact that role in such a way as to bring honor to you, and to be available to be used as an example to others. Help me dilute my polluted mind with your love, and the future that Heather and I have together. Amen.
I’m reading a new book that I picked up, and being mostly rattled by it. It suggests beyond all manner of common explanation that we should turn the job world on it’s head, become uber efficient and mobile, and work less and explore ourselves and our world more.
That’s not really new news, but he makes a pretty strong case for getting out of the comfort zone to expand ourselves to our future area of operation.To that end, there are a list of questions that I thought would be prudent to respond to towards the end of one of the first chapters.
—
[Update (6 days later): There is more to do on this post, but for the sake of moving on, much like life and time seem to do, I’m going to post this and perhaps pick it up again later. We’ll see if I get around to it. ]
This evening, as I sat down for a snack of leftovers/pel meni/chicken, I put down my milk & reading materials and began to think. Granted, I’m not very far into the seating, but I realized that I’m not sure that I could clearly articulate what I’m learning right now in life. I know from the laws of life that we must be learning something, and if I’m not, I’m doomed to repeat it, so perhaps it’s worthwhile to note to myself what I’m learning and, maybe if I’m feeling really communicative, why I’m learning it.
The books sitting next to me are as follows:
The first one is in my stack because Brad Wolgamott had recommended it in a training series he was creating prior to being removed from the world of Amway & World Wide Dream Builders. I don’t know all the details surrounding that topic, and I’m sure I could write a whole entry about that, so we’ll suffice it to say that the book is intended to help focus the mind around the mission statement or vision for your life. I don’t recall if I’ve read it before, but I’m reading it now (albeit slowly) and trying to engage in the process of writing my wishlist for life.
Confidence and Power is nearly always close, granted I’ve got books nearby; for whatever reason, it resonates with me and helps me to remember techniques to engage people in a positive way. It helps me to remember my own confidence and the necessity towards a win-win exchange with people.
And, well, the photography book will be my reward for a reading session well done. I love the camera and capturing special images. We’ll see what I learn tonight that might help me in the future.
Oh, and I need to be mindful of reading through the BBBS materials as I’m supposed to be “chairing” the meeting tomorrow night. 🙂
== notes from reading ==
Believing (not just conceiving) is the key to achievement;
quit thinking of all the reasons why you “can’t” do something and think of all the reasons why you “can.”;
men who have goals and plans dictate to others, while men who have no goals and plans are dictated to.
More thinking, more action, more growth.
I’ve been dealing lately with the fact that I am putting on pounds, and now I’m acting to remove them. I topped 200lbs again, and while for a spell I hovered around 180, it reminds me that my goal is actually 165-175. I don’t know how realistic the low side is, but I do know that I feel better about myself when at those lower poundage.
==
I got involved with the weekly sunday webcast and am just now getting back to the journal entry. This evening I got a good full hour in of kate listening. It was nice to be able to listen & relisten while riding around the valley. I rode around 10 miles in the hour that I was out, and not only am I feeling good about myself and making action towards good fitness, but also mentally empowered! Woohoo!
K. Time for bed.
Haha… so I titled this “love is kinda” – just thought that was funny. On with the notes…
===Notes from the small group session===
1 John 4:19 We loved because he first loved us.
Romans 5:5 Hope does not disappoint us,, because God has poured his love into our hearts by the Holy spirit, whom he has given us.
In many ways, our sensation of “needing” him is actually a calling of him for our love.
Loving someone when not feeling lovable.
love & respect: crazy cycle
philipians 2:1-4 if you have any encouragement from being united with christ… make joy complete by being like minded…(note the if-then statements)
long term perspective… don’t get caught up in the moment; consider our lifetime, consider eternal things.
===Thoughts===
Heather & I had a bit of a conflict earlier today where I was less than loving in my response to not listening to her explain her staying later at work prior to connecting with me. Really it was all a large misunderstanding. More thoughts coming later…